


Songs For A Broken Heart

by Nyvz



Category: Sing (2016)
Genre: Age Difference, Alcohol, Angst, Depression, Divorce, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Song Lyrics, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-24 11:29:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10740813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyvz/pseuds/Nyvz
Summary: Six years after their stellar performance and a year after her divorce, Rosita's only comfort is her friend Gunter and tonight, a good few drinks of something strong. Strong enough to make her forget the world feeling like it's falling down around her. But when she falls, it's a surprising and familiar set of arms that seeks to lift her back up again. Will they be able to restore her sparkle and renew her passion?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this particular fic started with a dream I had recently. I'd have never considered the eventual pairing but in the dream, it felt right. It'll eventually get into some strange and wonderful sexy things, but for now, I hope you enjoy the angst and change!

_Sittin’ on the front step_  
_Little white suitcase_  
_Hearing that diesel_  
_‘Fore it hit the front gate_  
_His headlights burnin’ down a Friday night_

The coffee pot had broken and with it, Rosita's will to try to do anything of actual work or worth today. She'd been standing there, waiting and watching it hum before hearing gears grind and witnessing a small waterfall of lukewarm brown water begin to overflow from it. Something in her broke as well and tears began a heavy stream down her face, eventually bringing her to her knees in the coffee puddle, crying her eyes out in a barely held together apartment downtown. 

_Southern Belle statue_  
_Standing in the screen door_  
_Watching her whole world_  
_Head for an old Ford_  
_With a man that can’t look her in the eye_

When had it all gone so wrong?

She remembered the concert and how beautiful she felt dancing with Gunter on stage. She remembered Norman kissing her deep and her children gathered around her, so proud of their mom for following her passion. They'd gone home and made more passionate love than she'd remembered in ages. She remembered the interviews and scheduling, how she worked so hard to balance being a singer with being a full time mom and being there no matter what...

_Then I run, to him_  
_Big hug, jump in_  
_And I cry for her_  
_Out the window_

Oh.  
She remembered the perfume on his shirts after he came home from work. The arguments, how he complained that she was never around anymore. Watching her children go from precocious little balls of energy to moody teenagers who barely were home or in the house and would constantly back talk her when she asked for help. The eventual point of distance in her marriage where she would sleep on the couch simply to not hear Norman's snoring which had become a far more irritating thing over time.

_Some mommas and daddies_  
_Are loving in a straight line_  
_Take forever to heart_  
_And take a long sweet ride_  
_But some mommas and daddies_  
_Let their heart strings tear and tangle_  
_And some of us get stuck_  
_In a love triangle_

The papers that he slid across the table one morning, the same morning that she had planned to tell him she'd gotten them an appointment for counseling. The look in his eyes that barely looked like the man she had married. How she'd thrown herself at his feet so unceremoniously, crying and squealing for him not to leave her. ...How he'd said it was too late and they were too far gone, that there was someone else. 

_Bowling alley burger_  
_Fries and a milkshake_  
_Heading to the same old_  
_Two-dollar matinee_  
_Baby, how’s your school been_  
_and how’s your mom?_

...Six years. Six years from that night on the stage to now. Coming on a year since they'd gotten the divorce. The woman he had found was well off, far more than Norman was. She showered the kids with gifts and monetary tokens of affection. The only one that didn't fall for it was her shy baby Jayni, who had cried and wanted to stay with her mom when they all moved out. They'd ruled that since Norman and his new woman were in much more stable jobs compared to Rosita, it was more reasonable for the children to live with them until they were adults and could decide for themselves. She still remembered how Jayni hugged her tightly and told her once she was 18, she'd come live with her.  
Since then, she'd faded from the limelight and her minor stardom slowly dissolved into a question of “Where Are They Now?”

_Patsy Cline echoes_  
_Back off the dashboard_  
_Staring at my boots_  
_And the dusty old floorboard_  
_Baby, two weeks ain't really all that long_

Rosita lifted her head to look around the apartment, hearing the lightbulb above her hum disapprovingly at the state she'd gotten herself into. It was barely big enough for one person to live in, just a room with a bed and one working stove top. How was she to offer this to Jayni in two years? This...pigsty. 

_Then I run to her_  
_Wrap my arms, around her skirt_  
_And I cry for him_  
_Out the window_

Wiping the snot from her nose and dampness from her face, she lifted herself out of the coffee puddle and pulled the plug from the wall, disposing of the coffee maker.  
“Come on girl, we can do this, it's just...temporary, right?” She told herself, trying to etch a smile back into her face.

_Some mamas and daddies_  
_Are loving in a straight line_  
_Take forever to hearten_  
_And take a long sweet ride_  
_But some mamas and daddies_  
_Let their heart strings tear and tangle, oh_

While Rosita was incredibly smart, she'd never gotten the chance to actually finish school and her engineering degree before she found herself pregnant with the kids. Now it was coming back to bite her, as she could have easily obtained a high paying job had she just been able to finish. Going back wasn't an option as what savings she had were depleted from the divorce and moving costs. It was only through the goodness of Mike's little heart (or perhaps how pitiful she looked) that he spoke to an associate about a place to stay for minimal rent. Had she not been desperate, she would have turned him down at the state of the place, but better to at least have a roof over her head.

_And some mamas and daddies_  
_Ran outta love in '94_  
_And some mamas and daddies_  
_Don't even talk no more_  
_And some mamas and daddies_  
_Let their heart strings tear and tangle_

_And some of us get stuck_  
_And some of us grow up_  
_In a love triangle_

 

Mike and Gunter were the only ones she'd even seen in those six years. The rest of the group had gone off to major careers due to how young they were and popular. Mike had used his influence to set up a small little bar as well as use it to pay back his loan to the Bear Boys. He called it The Squeekeasy, a play on words. It was doing well, though rumors had it Mike still had shady dealings in the back rooms during the nights.  


Gunter had set himself up in the Rainbow District of town, his local popularity soaring after the performance and gaining three new classes to his dance studio. One of his students had become his boyfriend, a very handsome crocodile named Raymond, and the two were inseparable. She'd found comfort and solace in him during the divorce proceedings, as his outlandish personality and unfettered confidence in her was one of the few things that kept her going forward.  
“Ach, he doesn't know a good thing vhen it ist right in front of his face! So she has monies, money ist not the key to love! Passion und understanding ist the key to love!” He'd say to her, an arm around her shoulder and wiping away tears.  


“Ohhh, Rosi, you are far too good for this man. Ve vill find you another und he vill be everythink you evah dreamed of.”  
While she appreciated the comforting, his desire to play matchmaker felt far too much to even think of right now. Having been with only Norman since their school days, along with being in her late thirties, pushing into fourties, the dating pool was a tad limited, or so she felt.  


The others...she would see them on television or hear their songs from time to time and feel a deep pang in her heart, longing for the connection again and happy if not a bit envious of their fame. Hearing Ash's guitar over the radio or the tabloids talk about dating rumors between her and Johnny, or Meena's debut on children's television...It could have been her. She'd been so close to something and just...

Her eyes opened again, feeling the cold coffee wetness seep through her sweatpants. She focused her vision on the water stains in the ceiling and wondered if it would be so bad if it came crashing down on her right at this very second.  


Standing up, she faced the clock on the dying stove top. 8:39 pm. She was supposed to go out with Gunter and Raymond tonight for drinks. He'd been complaining that she'd been hiding out in her apartment too much and needed to unwind. They went out to party at least twice a week and constantly invited her to go with, usually getting turned down. She'd promised them tonight after Gunther begged.  


A drink. A drink sounded phenomenal right now. Maybe a few. How long had it been since she'd allowed herself to really kick back? Far too long.  
Deciding that there was no better time, she stripped off in her kitchen, tossing the sweatpants and shirt to the coffee puddle to be thrown in the wash later.  
“Well, it's not much...” She said to herself, squeezing her belly and sighing. “Let's put on some lipstick and see how much I can forget tonight.”

Song used: RaeLynn's Love Triangle

  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The more I work on this, the more this is beginning to make sense as a pairing. So weird.

The look of disappointment that Gunter gave to Rosita as he and Raymond entered was a rather withering one. He'd come to be able to ignore the state of her apartment, at least enough to not deep clean the place every week, but seeing her attempt at “We're going drinking” clothing was simply unacceptable. He tutted and shoved her aside to land on the couch with a thump.

“No no no, you are not trying hard enough! I vill not stand by und just let this beauty just go to vaste!” He told her, beginning to tear through her closet. “Just because you are living in a tiny little place und feeling sad ist no reason to neglect yourself! Sveetie, vill you take care of the kitchen?” He looked to the crocodile, dressed in a glittering tank top and tights, who nodded and began to clean up the coffee and soaked sweats, as well as the dishes.

“But, Gunter, I don't have anything besides this!” She whined and picked herself back up off the couch. She'd done her best and looked through something that seemed reasonable to wear outside beyond her regular repetoire recently of sweats. She'd chosen an oversized pair of pants and a shirt that seemed like it could be sexy...if it fit right. Much to her frustration and perhaps due to the stress and lack of cooking she was doing nowadays, Rosita had lost a considerable amount of weight. Her mom clothes sagged on her enough to need a belt or two and most of her tops were now showing far too much cleavage. 

“You can do so much better! Aha!” He proclaimed, pulling out a long and slinky blue dress that shimmered when it moved. Rosita gasped and pulled it out of his hands.  
“This? Where did you...did you get into the box? Oh god, I was going to donate this ages ago...” The dress brought back a flood of memories to her days back in college, dressing up with her roommates and going out to bars in fancy dresses to see how high class of places they could get into. It didn't always work but when it did, they ran into and were bought drinks by some very interesting people. She remembered quite a few, a boar who wore a yellow suit and chatted her up, a gay couple of a meerkat and wild boar, a tiger who talked a big game but was beyond drunk and falling over himself after two shots and...Norman...

She blinked, then let out a shriek as she realized that Gunter was literally yanking her pants off.  
“The hell are you doing?!”  
“Go! Go put it on.”  
“Are you kidding, I wore this in college, you think my fat hips are going to fit in this?”  
“Trust in your friend, you vill fit into this like a glove!” He kissed his fingers and let them go before shoving her into the bathroom. “Now hurry up, 3 dollar shots start at 10 and I do not vant to have to vait forever!”

She gave a huff and a sigh, looking at the dress and cringing internally. 'No way this is going to fit, with how many kids I had, christ, just being able to fit in a door way is...oh.' She stopped as she pulled the length up and found that...it did fit. The fabric was soft and far more luxurious than anything she'd worn since the show. But would it...it did. She managed to zip up the back without more than a stretch simply just to get the zipper.  
Turning her head and looking into the mirror, she found someone she didn't entirely recognize. It looked like her back during college but...the dark circles under her eyes, the redness from crying earlier that still hadn't faded...this needed to go away. God, it needed to go away now. She did not want this to be the person she looked like.  
“Give me five minutes and we'll go!” She shouted out to the closed door, pulling her long neglected make up from the cabinet and doing a bit of clean up work to at least cover the circles around her eyes and bring up color in her pale cheeks.  
“See, I told you!” Gunter shouted from the other side.  
If she was going to play pretend as a happy person tonight, she may as well do it up right.

* * *

The club they'd gone to was not too far from Mike's place and many of the patrons hit it up for a cool down after partying. The cool air was refreshing on Rosita's face, now well made up to nearly take the six years off her age and heels high enough to curve her calves into shape. 

“You'll like this place, we go here all the time.” Raymond said from the driver's seat, or well, rather shouted, over the Lady Gaga blasting from the speakers and Gunter lip syncing along to it.  
“It's been a long time, so I'm a little rusty.” She called back over the music, finding it hard to resist smiling at Gunter's dance moves. He'd been such a support through it all and she was glad to call him a friend, even if he did get a bit overwhelming from time to time. “So how's living with him? I'm sure it must be a blast all the time.”  
Raymond threw his head back and laughed, sharp teeth glistening including one gold one. “I promise we're not constantly partying. Well, okay, maybe MOST of the time.” He rolled his eyes, still shouting over the music. “He's fabulous though, keeps his side of the bed nice and tidy and makes sure we always have enough food and wine to last us the month. Couldn't ask for better.”

It made her happy to hear it. As much as he drove her crazy during the rehearsals, Gunter had been one of the few people in a long time to encourage her to finally relax and be herself, to see herself as more than just a mother and housewife and bring out that inner sexy that was still there. If tonight would be anything like she remembered, it would be a blast...at least she hoped. The memory of the end of the show came to mind and as she sat back into the red leather, it felt as though a hand had squeezed her heart tight. Her hooves pressed against her chest, trying to soothe the feeling away and bury it.  
“You okay back there, honey?” Raymond called to her.  
“Ahh, just a little nervous.” She smiled a bit, taking in a breath and pushing down the feelings. They had been festering in her for way too long. She could let go tonight....maybe, anyway.

* * *

 

The boys had not been kidding about being familiar with the club. It was called Ewe Are Fab and run by a set of sheep triplets who had their respected places at the DJ booth, the bar and the MC's booth. It was a short walk from the Rainbow District, so she could see why it would be easy for them to set up base here.  
Admittedly, she felt somewhat silly getting out of the car in what felt like such a gaudy outfit to what she was used to wearing, but the looks from some of the patrons was noticable. She could hear comments, mostly positive. It wasn't until someone actually called her name that she felt a bit of panic.

“Rosita! Look, it's her!”  
Heads suddenly turned and gasps of excitement abounded around her, making her blush deeply and feel a bit overwhelmed. She'd never expected someone to recognize her after so long, but it seems that the club goers here were fans.  
“Rosita, Rosita, are you here to reunite with Gunter? Is he your new boyfriend? Are you going to dance together?”  
She smiled awkwardly, allowing Gunter to take the stage and answer questions and act as a buffer for the attention. He happily ate it up and informed the curious people that no, she was not his partner in love, but that if they were a fabulous and adoring crowd, they may be treated to a special dance.

“Gunter, it's been six years, I don't remember any of our moves, let alone like this.” She told him as they walked through the door, her on one side of him and Raymond on the other with hands laced. Gunter let off a dismissive snort.  
“Rosita, you never lose the skills of a pro. You vill do just fine. But first! Ve drink to your revival, like the pheasant!”  
“I think you mean phoenix, G-baby~” Raymond said with a smile, greeting their dance friends and looking at his partner with a deep amount of affection. Rosita was happy and jealous of the look he gave at the same time, unsure if she had ever seen that from Norman in their past. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad night, if she could keep her mind occupied.

* * *

 

Rosita had not remembered alcohol burning this badly. Maybe it had just been a very long time since she'd indulged or was simply used to how the occasional beer or wine was, but the shot that had been bought for them felt like a belly full of fire going down. Her body shuddered with its bitterness before a deep warmth and what felt like a warm body hugging her came down.  
“Oh....” She blinked, taking in a breath and chasing the shot with a drink of lime soda, allowing it to soothe the burning in her throat. “Okay, that's not so bad.”  
“See? You are a pro. And ve get drinks here all the time, so don't vorry about it.” Gunter patted her on the back. “Look, look out onto the kingdom!” He motioned with his hoof to the crowd. She turned to look, seeing a sea of people before her, all shapes and sizes, all kinds of species.  
“You have your pick of the litter here. Some might not be into vomen, but it's always vorth a shot.” He shrugged and motioned to the bartender, the oldest of the trio. “James!”  
“Hey, Gunter, good to see you and Ray tonight. I see you brought a pretty one here this time. Is this the second half of your celebrity duo?” He smiled at her, a deep voice that was friendly and soft, even yelling over the music. He held out a hoof and shook hers, his grip well defined. “Should I expect a stellar performance tonight? I can tell my little brothers if you have any requests.” He winked at her and she couldn't help the blush that painted her cheeks.  
“Um, hah, maybe...” Oh crap, now she'd done it. People were already anticipatory at the door. She saw the way his eyes lit up, as well as Gunter's. She couldn't back out at this point. ...This was going to require more than one shot though. “I think I'll need to loosen up a bit more before that though.”  
“Hah, can certainly help you out there. What'll ya all have?” He grinned, looking like he'd just won a grand prize.  
“Honey shots!” Gunter called out and James nodded, turning around to prepare them.  
“What are honey shots?”  
“They are beautiful little things, they taste like honey und cinnamon and go down a treat!” He gave a happy snort. He turned to Raymond for a minute to talk to him while they waited for the alcohol.

She looked to her feet, the heels scuffed along the sides where only she noticed them. She found a run in her stocking before they left and repaired it with a bit of clear nail polish, but something about those little imperfections made her wonder if she were really supposed to be here. Everyone here was so young and beautiful looking. She was...a divorced housewife who had been living on coffee, vegetable soup and bruised apples for the last few months while she worked on editing structure plans from home. The only reason she fit into this dress was from stress and not cooking for 25 mouths anymore. Was this...really her life? Would those people who looked so happy for her being there know she was just this...failure? 

The feeling of panic was beginning to creep into her chest again as James turned back around with six little shot glasses of an amber mixture, each with an orange peel curled around the rim. Gunter looked absolutely ecstatic and Raymond's eyes lit up.  
“Ach, you know us far too vell.” He made a flippant motion with his hand and then squeezed Raymond's, getting a kiss on the cheek from his partner.  
“I just know you always want another right after the first. Makes my life easier.” He crossed his arms with an amused look and let his languid gaze watch over Rosita, who took the glass to her hand and brought it up to her nose, sniffing in the smell. 

It was as if someone took a fall scented candle and stuck it in a tiny little shotglass with all of the power behind it. She brought it to her mouth and dropped it back, as one does with a shot. The effect was instant and nowhere near the horror of the first one. It was everything you could ever want in a pie at Thanksgiving in one drink, splashing down her throat and into her belly to explode in a deep warmth. She could taste honey, whiskey, cinnamon and orange liqueur. The flavors were heavy enough to mask the bite of alcohol.  
“Wow! That's really good! You weren't kidding, Gunter.” She looked into the glass, then to her companions who were finishing their second right after the first with deep satisfaction. Not wanting to feel left behind, she followed suit, this one feeling a bit rougher than the first.  
“Hehe, easy there, you don't have to try and keep up with these guys.” James chuckled, watching as her ears and cheeks turned a cherry red around the edges.  
“Do not underestimate the prowess and ability of this vunderful lady! She is a pro and it is her night to feel vhat love is!”  
“Wait, what?” Rosita said, giggling a bit as the warmth was starting to wash over her and soften the edges of the world, as well as the music.  
“Ve shall find you a good man and you vill dance and voo him vith your abilities.”  
She couldn't help herself as the giggle grew into a snorting laugh. The thought seemed so silly right now. The bass to the music seemed to begin to sync up with her heart and the temptation was too much.  
“Forget love, let's go dance!” She said, pulling the two from their seats. Their eyes lit up with sparkles and Gunter shouted something to James, who nodded and went off to speak with his brothers. Rosita didn't care much as she could feel her muscles begin to relax from the alcohol. It was time to enjoy herself without these thoughts haunting her mind.

 

* * *

It had been maybe an hour before the shots truly set in. Rosita had failed to ask what made up the shots and the mixture, a heavy amount of honey whiskey, cinnamon schnapps and orange liqueur, were a favorite of Gunter and Raymond who drank often, but seemed to be more potent for her. The dancing did not help its movement in her blood and by the time the youngest of the sheep brothers Aaron had come to the mic to announce Gunter and Rosita, she was uncaring of anything else in the world.  
“Ladies and gentleman, tonight we've got a special treat for you at Ewe Are Fab. Seems we've got a surprise celebrity in the house tonight. Let's give it up for Gunter, our local king of the dance floor and his queen tonight, the beautiful and rarely seen Rosita!” The cheers were almost deafening and a space on the dance floor was cleared around her. She brought her hands to her mouth and blew kisses to the crowd, who shouted out encouragement and adoration to them both. “Now, let's see your moves!”

Maybe it was the alcohol raging in her system, the need for a release or just simply that deep connection that she had shared with him all that time ago, but as Rob Thomas' “Smooth” began to play over the DJ's speakers, her body moved on its own with no need for nervousness or hesitation. Gunter happily brought her to his body, still familiar with the woman, though smaller than he remembered, and began to move.  
For that moment and song, it was as though she was back on that wooden stage, that same rush and anticipation and drive coursing through her. She could feel sweat dripping down the back of her neck and back but gave no care, only focusing on how Gunter's hands moved her. He dipped her, spun, let them come apart and move without any practice or precedence, and yet she came back in perfect timing to him again.  
She'd missed this. So much more than she'd realized. It was as though she'd come back home...  
Home.  
Her eyes went wide for a moment as the vivid memory of Norman shot through her brain, breaking through the drunken haze for a moment and looking to Gunter, whose face briefly resembled him. She had to blink for a minute, feeling her step stumble at the end and her heels wobble. Thankfully an attentive dancer, Gunter's arms swept under her feet and spun her above him, keeping her from possibly snapping an ankle.

The song faded out and the music was replaced with a deep roar of the crowd who began to demand another performance, to hear her sing. Bringing her down to her feet, she looked around, panting heavily. Raymond was kind enough to bring them both a glass of cool water.  
“You guys did fantastic! I feel like I just got away with murder, watching that performance for free~” He crooned, patting her shoulder and hugging Gunter hard. “You looked so sexy like that, baby~”  
“Thank you, my scaly darling. You bring out the animal in me!” He grinned, then turned to Rosita. “Are you okay? You lost your footing at the end. Is the the alcohol?”  
Rosita's eyes scanned the room. Her vision had gone a bit hazy and although she could hear the music, her heart slamming itself against her rib cage was deafening. Still, she didn't want to let anyone down and smiled to cover up her nerves.  
“I'm okay, it's just been forever since I've worn these shoes, you know.” She waved him off, downing the water and feeling a bit more alert, at least for the moment. “Now come on, they want a song and I need another shot!” She pumped her fist in the air, trying to convince them both as well as herself a bit.

She'd followed her water up with two more shots, the last given somewhat hesitantly by James who could see the piglet was getting herself into a bit more trouble than she was expecting of herself, but thought that she maybe needed a night to let loose.  
Aaron and the middle brother and DJ, Chaz, set her up for a small stage performance on their karaoke stage.. By the time she was about to go on, her vision was beginning to blur and double, but the thought of singing again to an audience who appreciated her was too good to let go of.  
“Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Miss Rosita!” Aaron announced her once more and she took to the stage, carefully focusing her attention to walking steady. She smiled to the audience and used the machine to search through a song. Her heart stopped as she scanned through and landed on a song that resonated far too deeply with her. She had listened to this band in her youth and couldn't help herself as the button was pressed under her finger.

_Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over_  
_Knowing there's so much more to say_  
_And suddenly the moment's gone_  
_And all your dreams are upside down_  
_And you just want to change the way the world goes round, tell me_  
_Have you ever loved and lost somebody_  
_Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry_  
_Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, baby_  
_Have you ever felt your heart was breaking_  
_Looking down the road you should be taking_  
_I should know, 'cause I loved and lost, the day I let you go_  
_Can't help but think that this is wrong_  
_We should be together_  
_Back in your arms where I belong_  
_And now I've finally realized_  
_It was forever that I've found (forever that I've found)_  
_I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round, tell me_  
_Have you ever loved and lost somebody_  
_Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry_  
_Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, baby_  
_Have you ever felt your heart was breaking_  
_Looking down the road you should be taking_  
_I should know (I should know), 'cause I loved and lost, the day I let you go_  
_I really want to hear you say, that you know just how it feels_  
_To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see_  
_Even though the moment's gone (moment's gone), I'm still holding on somehow_  
_Wishing I could change the way the world goes round, tell me_  
_Have you ever loved and lost somebody_  
_Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry_  
_Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, baby_  
_Have you ever felt your heart was breaking_  
_Looking down the road you should be taking_  
_I should know (I should know), 'cause I loved and lost, the day I let_  
_Yes I loved and lost the day I let_  
_Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go_

Rosita barely realized that she had started crying on stage until she heard the deep cheer and applause for her. She smiled and waved sheepishly before Gunter and Raymond came to the side of the stage, helping to usher her off and allowing Aaron to retake the microphone and use the crowd's energy to get them dancing and pumped up again.  
Goddamn it. She'd allowed herself to fall back into the thought and the pain. The alcohol was clouding way too much now and when they set her in a chair to rest for a bit, she realized that she could not see anything that wasn't doubled now. Granted, the tears didn't much help that, her eyes burning as mascara bled into them and made it feel acidic. She wanted to go home and just be able to cry quietly to herself like she had for the last year. She couldn't even have one night to herself without her heart fucking it up.  
Now concerned for their friend, Raymond and Gunter went to go get her some water, fairly drunk themselves and working to navigate through the crowd, who unbeknownst to Rosita, had become even more excited during her song with another celebrity appearance. She didn't care though. She only cared about getting home and possibly puking in her own bare bones bathroom and away from this headache inducing beat.

She began to move off the chair, her memory starting to fuzz as well as the rest of her vision. She hadn't managed two steps away before the heels turned on her and wobbled, bringing Rosita down with them. Her teeth clenched and she expected to feel the hard and unforgiving floor against her face.  
Instead, she found herself landing in a pair of arms much larger than her own. They were strong, yet soft with thick hair. The scent on the chest she pressed into was familiar, but at the moment, her memory couldn't think back far enough to where. All she could think to herself was that the warmth of this person felt comfortable and she didn't want to leave. This could be a stranger, a dangerous person, anyone, but the sorrow coursing through her and the inebriation sapped her of any care for herself at this moment. She cried into the shirt in front of her, feeling her body lifted with complete ease.  
There was a rumble in the person's chest and she could tell he was talking to someone. The noise of the club and the crowd muffled it completely, but one of them sounded like a drunk Gunter. She didn't know how long they stood there and talked before blackness began to roll over Rosita's vision and her eyes closed, the last thing that she heard being the crowd fade behind her and the rushing of cars as the person holding her went outside and asked if she was gonna be okay.  
She didn't know.

Song used: "Have You Ever" by S Club 7


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 3 and 4 were originally integrated, but it seemed better to separate them. Also it's 3 am.

Sometime during the night, Rosita had woken up, but didn't dare open her eyes lest the nausea immediately take hold of her. She gave a soft groan of pain, the throbbing in her head overtaking any thoughts of getting up that might have passed through her brain. To her surprise though, she found relief in a hand that stroked her head softly, the other bringing ice cold water to her lips. She drank with fervor before the voice told her to slow down a bit or she'd make herself sick. Heeding the voice's discretion, she slowed her gulps to soft sips, grateful to the person and to the cool sensation.  
This was far too nice. Far too kind to her. The hand on her head was warm and wide, comforting. Such gentle touch dove down into her heart and brought tears back to surface again, this time without the barrier of social view or caring of such. She weeped into the sheets, still unknowing who the person soothing her was but relieved enough to not be alone in her grief. The hand stopped for a minute, leaving her head before she felt the bed behind her dip from the weight of the person, the hand having moved behind and now stroking both her head and back.  
She cried and cried until there were no tears left to cry and the exhaustion came back down over her. She briefly wondered as she drifted into a dreamless sleep when she'd gotten nice sheets.

* * *

It was morning, but the room was kept well darkened when she finally felt willing enough to open her eyes. Instead of the wall of her apartment and her old bell alarm clock, she was staring at a digital one that told her she'd been asleep until well into the later morning. 10:40am. Wait. She hadn't bought a digital clock. Her eyes traveled down the sheets and saw rather than the old ones she'd been using from when her kids were small and plastered with cartoon characters, these were a deep blue and rather nice, much nicer than she was used to.  
Panic was beginning to rush through her veins, now very aware that she was not at home. Fueled by this, she sat up and took in her full surroundings, though was stopped as the remnants of headache punched her back down onto the bed. She gave a groan, looking up at the ceiling and seeing that it had no water damage spots or cracks, just a stainless steel ceiling fan that was lazily spinning. Rather than sit up again, she watched it for a minute, allowing her view to move around the room from her prone position.

The room was very...male. That was easy to see. Simple designs, blues and blacks, accented with stainless steel here and there. The bed she was laying on, she realized, was actually massive. It could comfortably fit at least three people. Definitely not Gunter's retro kitch apartment, glittering with 60's knick knacks.  
Fuck. Where the hell was she and who had she gone home with?  
She let herself lay there for a bit, going over the memories of the night for clues. From the time she remembered getting off the stage to...well, now, everything blurred and there wasn't a face she could place. Instead, she had to search elsewhere for clues. She'd been a mess and a half and even drunk, she trusted Gunter not to just allow her to go home with someone that was going to hurt her, the guy was way too protective and caring to let that happen. But then why hadn't they taken her back home to her apartment? Was this someone he was trying to set her up with? But, sending her home with a date while she was a complete wreck....it wasn't like him at all.  
“Ugh.” She grunted and sat up, much more slowly this time. This was getting frustrating. Either way, nothing was going to get solved just laying there in the bed. She lifted herself from the sheets, as comfy as they were and looked over herself. Everything was still in place, though her face had been washed off at some point. Her shoes were nowhere to be found and her purse was hanging off the doorknob. After a thorough check of it, she found everything to be where it needed to be.  
This made even less sense. Her memory began to grab onto the early dredges of the morning and the comforting hands soothing her even as she sobbed her eyes out. She supposed that she should at least find the owner of this room and thank them for taking care of her. If Gunter was willing to turn her over to them, they must be at least somewhat trustworthy.

 

_I saw fireworks from the freeway and behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away_  
_'Cause you were born on the fourth of July, freedom ring_  
_Now something on the surface it stings_  
_That something on the surface it kind of makes me nervous who says that you deserve this_  
_And what kind of god would serve this? We will cure this dirty old disease_  
_If you've got the poison I've got the remedy_

Her heart stopped for a minute as she realized the voice that was singing. No way. That was unmistakable. She opened the bedroom door and could hear it better, though it still echoed through the house. Upstairs. It was coming from upstairs.

_The remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison_   
_I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words_   
_I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on_   
_So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end._

_I won't worry my life away._  
_I won't worry my life away._  
_I heard two men talking on the radio in a cross fire kind of new reality show_  
_Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack_  
_They were counting down the days to stab the brother in the be right back after this_  
_The unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh death breath is sure to outlast his catastrophe_  
_Dance with me, because if you've got the poison, I've got the remedy_

Her feet carried her swiftly up the stairs, following the voice into a larger bedroom, opening the door in wild abandon and walking around the corner, too entranced with the voice to hear the sound of water running. She had definitely been right.  
Had it not been for a well placed towel on the rack of the shower door, Rosita would have gotten a full viewing of Johnny's undercarriage. As it was, the older woman's eyes bulged as she took in the sight of the large gorilla, singing to himself under the shower. He'd not changed much from what she remembered, though her memory distinctly had more clothes. Dark fur patched over his back and arms, deep gray skin over his chest and stomach, defined in hard muscle. Hearing the sound of the door kick open, he stopped and looked over.  
“Ahhh!” She gave a jump and fell backwards, shuffling on the floor back. Johnny returned the shriek, nearly slipping over his own feet and falling before grabbing onto the shower counter.  
“J-Just a minute!” He quickly covered himself and turned off the shower as Rosita finally managed to situate herself out of the bathroom cove and on the other side of the wall, hearing Johnny's frantic shuffling to get dry.  
“Sorry, sorry! Take your time!” She called, beating a hasty retreat back downstairs and to the bedroom, burying her face in the pillow in embarrassment. “Holy shit.” She whispered to herself, trying to come to terms with the actual reality and piece together last night based on this new information.  
It's no wonder Gunter was comfortable letting her go last night, Johnny had been the group sweetheart and wouldn't hurt a fly. Of course he would have trusted him with her. But...why was he there? She hadn't remembered seeing him there. It'd been years since they'd last seen one another and...why hadn't he taken her home? Did Gunter not give him the address? Did he do it and was too disgusted by her apartment? ...things still didn't quite make sense, but at least she knew she genuinely was somewhere and with someone safe.  
Damn though. Six years did some beautiful things to that boy.  
She brought her hands up to her cheeks and gave them a soft smack for even thinking that way. The boy was at least fifteen years are junior, good god. Even so, outside of the internet, she'd never seen a chest quite like that.  
A pang of something she wasn't quite sure of shot deep into her chest and she brought a hand down to it. The memories of his arms holding her up last night and the hand that carefully soothed her to sleep as she cried out Norman's name and weeping whispers of apologies...He'd heard all of that. Gunter had been there for her during the divorce and seen her cry, but never like that. ...no one had seen her that emotionally naked.  
The thought of it made her sick to her stomach, but at the same time, she was grateful it had been someone as tender as Johnny.

“Ahem.”  
Rosita jumped as he cleared his throat, turning around on the bed and seeing a rather sheepish looking Johnny, now fully clothed, at the bedroom door. “So, uh, I take it you're feeling a little better.” He gave a smile, hand scratching the back of his head.  
“Ah...yes, thank you.” She finally found her voice, working on her full composure next. “Um, I'm sorry, I didn't realize till I heard you...”  
“Oh no, that was my fault. You were asleep very deeply and I didn't think you'd be able to hear me. Suppose I'm still not used to the acoustics here and how far they carry. Moved in pretty recently.”  
“Is this your place? It's...really big.” She had trouble meeting his eyes, which was just as well, as Johnny was struggling to do so as well.  
“Yeah...the album did really well, so I wanted to...make sure Dad and my uncles had a place to come home to once they were out.” His voice faltered a bit and Rosita remembered what he had told them at the end of that fateful night, how his father had broken out just to see him, how they'd made up, but that he still had to serve his time for the robbery and the break out. He still had a way to go, she wagered.  
“It's a really nice place. I'm sure he'll like it.” She smiled at him a bit, still struggling to make eye contact. “Um...was I...that bad last night? I mean, I remember most of it, but...I guess I was just wondering what all happened after...”  
The look he gave her immediately brought a sense of dread and worry.  
“Johnny?”

 

Song used: “The Remedy” by Jason Mraz


	4. Chapter 4

Mike had given him a call. The rumor mill had circulated that Gunter was bringing in a celebrity tonight and given their friendship, Mike had an idea of who he might be possibly unwillingly dragging out to the club.

The mouse wasn't one to pry, but after he'd helped Rosita out of her housing situation, he kept a close eye on things and his large ear to the ground. Of course, Gunter being a gossip certainly made that job easier. He'd come in to the Squeekeasy every so often to tell Mike how Rosita wouldn't come out of the apartment, the state it was in and his hopes of getting everyone from the show back together at some point. Mike had no interest working with most of these people again, outside of Meena if she ever wanted to do a duet, but she'd busied herself hosting kids shows and Mike hated children, so that was a bust.

Still though. Rosita may not have been his cup of tea, but she was a decent person, more than he was. Hearing what had happened to her and his own experiences being out on the streets, he could at least give her a roof over her head. It wasn't near enough, but he knew better than to get involved in something that messy.

 

* * *

“Hey, Big J, how's tricks?”

“Mike? W-What is it, I've not heard from you in ages.”

“Heh, been keepin' busy and makin' good money. From the sounds of it, you have too. Album's been all over. Heard about your little tryst with the rock chick, stepping up in the world, huh?”

He could hear the gorilla stutter over the phone and couldn't help chuckling to himself. The big guy never stood a chance with that girl. She'd eat him alive. Or impale him by accident, whichever came first.

“I'm just teasin' ya, kid, relax. Listen, you remember Roz? Gunter's dance girl, has like a ton of kids.”

“Yeah, of course. They were a great team. I had wondered what happened to them, she kind of disappeared a while ago. Did you hear something about them?”

“Matter of fact, I did. Apparently the guy's taking her to Ewe Are Fab tonight. Something about getting her back in the saddle maybe.”

“Wow, really? Are you going to go see them?”

“What, and watch jello melt under the lights? Nah, I got a bar to run. But, figured you could stop in and check it out, see if they've done anything new with that routine of theirs.”

“Yeah, I should be able to if I don't get mobbed at the door.”

Mike gave a snort and an eye roll.

“Is what happens when you start getting famous, kid. Eat it up as much as you can. Listen, I gotta jet, but ask the pig, he'll tell you where to find me if you need ol' Mike's help or advice.”

“Sure. Thanks for the tip, I'll keep you updated.”

He hung up the phone and gave a long sigh. This was the better thing. Mike wasn't a good comforter, nor did he want to even try. Getting a big, lovable dork to take that place was a lot safer and kinder to them both. Because as much as he was never going to admit it to anyone, the look in Rosita's eyes was something he knew. And it was not good.

 

For the most part, Johnny had managed to slip in undetected. Getting around these days was far more complicated than he liked and he longed for the days when he could just ride around on his skateboard completely unnoticed. By the time he got to the club and inside, he could see the crowd parting a circle in the dance floor to allow Rosita and Gunter to dance. Being tall certainly had advantages and allowed him to stay somewhat to the back.

Watching them dance was something he didn't think he could every get tired of. They just had such good chemistry together and looked like they were enjoying it and one another so much. He likened it to what he imagined being in love was like, moving in sync with someone so closely that you can read their body and movements like they were words on a page. Of course, given Gunter was gay and Rosita was married, he had serious doubts that was ever a thing or a consideration.

Still, it was mesmerizing. This dance was...a bit different. Rosita's movements were unrestrained and a bit haphazard. Gunter adjusted more than easily to it, but towards the end, he watched concerned as her face changed to one of confusion and her foot slipped. No one else but he and Gunter noticed, he thought. They were all too caught up in the rest of it to see the small details that only those who had seen her before would. He wondered if it were the alcohol, given the way that she walked back to the bar after a bit unsteadily.

Should he talk to them? It had been so long...Guilt washed over him. He should have kept better contact. These people had felt like a second family to him and now...maybe it was better to keep a distance. What if they were upset or angry, if they felt he had just abandoned them? But, Mike wasn't angry and had reached out to him, telling him to go. Maybe...maybe they talked to him and wanted him to come to be friends again?...wait, Mike wasn't that nice.

 

Johnny kept at a slight distance, watching as a now rather inebriated Rosita took to the karaoke stage, but not before someone noticed him and people began to look back, gearing up with excitement. In a panic, he did his best to hush the crowd, which thankfully listened due to their knowledge of how polite Johnny insisted on being, as well as the sound that resonated through Rosita's throat.

This...wasn't her style though. He looked up to watch her and found the face she made had changed from the happy go lucky drunken smile to one of half lidded sorrow. He recognized the song and that it was a break up song. He remembered Ash's face and tears during their rehearsals after she found out Lance had cheated on her and this...looked very similar. But somehow all together different.

Now he was very concerned. He could see streaks of black tears coming down her face as she continued to sing and did his best to move carefully through the crowd towards the side, but given his size found it nearly impossible to do at this point. He could only watch her as she gave her performance and exposed those raw feelings to the audience.

 

Finally, once the music came back on, Johnny was able to make a break for it, though still slowly as people tried to talk to him. He politely declined them, making his way towards where he'd seen Gunter and the crocodile take her off stage. The crowd was well riled and pushed him a bit, which both helped and hindered.

He reached the break in the crowd just in time to watch Rosita try and get to her feet and the wobble in her walk.

“Oh fuck, she's going to break her ankle like that.” He thought to himself. As he expected, she began to topple forward. Thank god for his size, which allowed him to reach out far enough to draw the woman into his arms. Had...had Rosita always been this small? Certainly he'd never seen his this drunk though, watching as she clung to his shirt and began to cry. Ohhhhhh boy.

“Ohh, Johnny, it ist you!”

He turned, pulling her into his arms like one would a child. She didn't seem to much mind and buried her face deeper. Gunter and the crocodile approached, drunk themselves, but sober enough to have gotten water for her.

“Hey, it's been a long time. You look...well, drunk. But well.” He said, nodding to his companion, who looked a mixture of worried and star struck. “Ehh, hi, I'm Johnny, are you...?”

“Raymond, lovely to meet you. Gunter, you never said he was so handsome in person~” He cooed, face flushed.

“Ya, he's a good looking boy. But enough about that. Ve need to get her home, but right now, it's too dangerous to drive. You are a lifesaver though, could you maybe take her home? Ve vanted to give her a night away from the sad things, but I think the sad things still vere in her mind and heart. Her dancing vas not free and full of love like I hoped.” Gunter looked up to him, hopeful. “Here, I can give you the address.”

“Yeah, of course. You two are okay to get home too, yeah?” Ever the responsible boy, even now.

“Oh yes, we don't live very far~” Raymond crooned, lost in Johnny's eyes and making him just a tad uncomfortable with the staring.

“Good, good. I'll be off then. Ahh, Gunter, Mike said he'd tell you where to find him if I needed him.”

“Oh ya, he vorks at the Squeekeasy, down the street and 7 blocks down. Very nice place, but too stiff for me.” He said, patting Johnny's arm. “You take good care of Rosita, she is a very special person and friend to me!”

“Of course. Cheers.” He smiled and nodded, keeping her close as he made his way through the crowd and back out to the street. When he looked down, she'd stopped crying and was breathing slightly labored, bringing up alarm in him.

“Hey...are you gonna be okay, Rosita?”

There was a tiny mumble from her mouth before she finally passed out.

 

* * *

“Oh...fuck.”

This could not be the right place.

Johnny stepped out of the car for a minute, seeing the last remnants of firemen clearing out the area around where Gunter had told him to go. The building looked...not great, though Johnny didn't know if it was from the fire that had apparently happened or it was just like that before.

“Shit. Um, excuse me!” He ran up to a fireman, a dalmatian who was getting ready to head out.

“What is it?” He replied curtly.

“Just, um, do you know what happened here? My...friend lives here and...”

“Electrical fire, managed to get most of it handled before it got out of control. Does your friend live on the 4th and 5th floor?” He asked.

Johnny looked down at the note that Gunter had written. Apartment 4C. Oh fuck.

“Yeah...it looks like it.”

“Best take them somewhere else for the night and have them call the office and their insurance in the morning, those floors took the most damage and right now, it's way too dangerous to go in them, even for retrieval. We do have a few things that were saved though. Do you have a name and their ID?”

“Ahh, Rosita! She's sleeping in the car, but I can get it for you.” He scurried back with the firedog in tow, watching her sleep in the back seat as Johnny retrieved her purse and ID. The man looked it over, her again and Johnny.

“Probably a good thing she was out. The place took a lot of damage.” He handed Johnny a box from the truck that had a small assortment of items. Relief overtook him as he saw both a laptop and a box of photos among the belongings, but wondered how much she'd truly lost.

“Be safe getting home, kid. She's in good hands.” He winked and Johnny flushed a bit, realizing he was definitely recognized and his reputation of being trustworthy and caring seemed far from lost on the town.

But...how was he supposed to tell her this?

 

* * *

Had his dad actually been home, he imagined that he would have gotten a sharp slap on the back in jest and encouragement for “bringing home an older woman”. The thought made him chuckle and cringe at the same time, lifting her back into his arms as he arrived home.

Despite his background, Johnny actually had a very sensible head when it came to money. Seeing the amount that his album had made as well as the media appearances, he did not want to ever be in a position again where his family would have to risk their freedom and safety in order to provide for one another. He'd purchased a large, but reasonable house for when his father and uncles were released, a comfortable car and a few commodities and comforts here and there, but put most of his money into savings and, following an old piece of advice Mike had given him ages ago, a few investments. Now it was just up to time to release his kin back into his care. He hoped that his dad would like it.

 _Know its getting late_  
_But if you'd like to talk a little more_  
_Well that's alright with me_  
  
_I'm feeling kinda tired_  
_But it ain't exactly beating down my door_  
_Now just why could this be?_  


 

Rosita barely stirred as he brought her into the house and to his bedroom. He'd never had a woman in his house before, let alone his room. Shit, how were you supposed to take care of a drunk person? Anytime his uncles or dad got drunk, they never drank this far and just got loud and obnoxious.

Well, water and some comfort seemed the most logical thing to do. He carefully removed her shoes and placed them by the front door (a habit long ingrained in him) and retrieved a glass of cold water from the kitchen.

The digital clock was shining like a beacon in the dim room. He didn't want to turn on the light and disturb her too much. Nearly 2 am. He would have been in bed a hour ago normally, but worry was going to keep him up for a good bit.

 _And I know you shouldn't say_  
_But you've been acting strange the last few days_  
_And this has made me think_  
  
_Your pills have cost too much_  
_And you cant feel them working anymore_  
_So pour them down the sink_  
  
_And listen to me_

 

Perhaps a good thing as he heard a groan of pain from her.

Her hand reached up to her head, most likely a bad headache. Out of instinct, his hand reached up and began to stroke it softly, bringing the water to her mouth. She started to drink far too quickly and he pulled it back just a bit.

“Woah, woah, easy. Drink it slowly. We don't want you getting sick all over yourself, Rosita.” He spoke softly, continuing to stroke her head as she nodded and took the water back, drinking much slower.

 _All you gotta do_  
_Is baby kick off your shoes_  
_And lay down_  
_Climb up here with me_  
_And lets forget about sleep_  
_And lay down_

 

When he brought the empty glass back, he thought he'd made her upset from it, watching with panic as she began to cry. But...this wasn't normal crying. This wasn't upset crying or hurt. This was...the way a wounded and frightened animal cries.

“Norman...please...come back, I'm sorry...I don't know what else I was supposed to do...I was a good wife...why...my babies, my babies...” She wept out in heart wrenching sorrow, leaving Johnny to wonder what the hell had happened in the time he was away. Had things changed that much?...is this why Mike called him? But, he never gets involved with emotional stuff so...

 

 _Why hide your face from me?_  
_Why turn away?_  
_All I wanna do is pull you closer and say_  
  
_I'm feeling kinda tired_  
_But it ain't exactly beating down my door_  
_Now just why should this be_

 

The thought were too much for him to consider at the moment, he was too tired and too much just wanting to soothe her. Taking a minute, he moved from standing beside her at the bedside to laying down behind her, letting his large hand stroke her hair and back. She seemed to cry even harder, but maybe this was better. He'd once heard that it was...cathartic? Was that the right word? No idea, but not long after he'd moved positions, her cries began to become weaker and weaker. He prayed that his was a good sign.

_Will you listen to me_

 

 _All you gotta do_  
_Is baby kick off your shoes_  
_And lay down_  
_Climb up here with me_  
_And lets forget about sleep_  
_And lay down_

 

Once she had begun to calm, he lifted himself up and fetched a wet cloth from the downstairs bathroom, wiping off the make up and tear stains from her face. Looking much more closely, he could see that she was far smaller than he remembered her being, the pudgy cheeks she had more sallow and thin, as well as deep dark circles around her eyes, made worse from the crying.

 

 _Lay down with me_  
_Lay down next to me_  
_Lay down with me_

 

“Rosita...what happened to you...christ, what am I gonna do with you tomorrow...” He said quietly and bit his lip in nervousness. She'd apparently lost her husband, her kids...and now her home. This would destroy anyone, let alone someone in such a fragile place.

Exhaustion was looming over him and Johnny realized that no good thinking would come from staying awake any longer. Bed seemed the best option, but he didn't want to just abandon her...

 

_I know I shouldn't say_  
_But you've been acting strange the last few days_  
_And this has made me think_  
_(you know I'm not for thinkin')_

 

Well.

He sighed and changed into a wife beater and lounge pants, more than he would usually wear to bed, but the polite thing to do and placed a careful barrier of pillows between them so she didn't think anything strange had happened after drinking. Even as tired as he was, Johnny prepared himself for a restless sleep, ready to wake up at any sound of discontentment or fear in Rosita's voice. But none came, only a dreamless sleep to a morning that would shift her life yet again.

 

  
_Your pills have cost too much_  
_And you cant feel them working anymore_ _  
_ _So pour them all right down the sink_

 

Song used: “Sleazy Bed Track” by The Bluetones

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really surprised at how well this is going, to be honest. When I had this dream, I didn't really think I'd be able to develop this much of story from it. I'm still not entirely sure where it'll all end up, but hopefully in a good place.

With each detail that Johnny carefully shared with her, he winced a bit as her facial expression seemed to change, almost as though he was watching the life drain out of her eyes before him. By the time he got to how she had cried out in the night for Norman, Rosita was slumped forward on the edge of the bed, covering her eyes with her hooves in shame and despair.

“Look, I mean...it looks...really bad right now. But, you're okay, I mean...it's a good thing you weren't home or you might...” He stopped himself on the end of that sentence, but Rosita's thoughts finished it for him.

'You might be dead. Maybe it would have been better.' She thought to herself, mouthing it quietly. Her hands came away from her face, dropping lifelessly to her lap. There really was nothing left now. There was nothing that she could provide to anyone, let alone Jayni or the rest of her kids, even to herself. She'd been scraping by on the editing money she made from home and it kept her in that little apartment. All her work, her photos, her memories that she'd hidden away...

“I don't know what to do.” She spoke out after a bit. Tears were coming down her face again, but without noise, as though her body had just lost its barrier to hold them back.

 

Now that she was awake and sober, Johnny seemed very hesitant to touch her, but couldn't help his hand reaching out and gently patting her shoulder, prompting her to look up at the younger male. The look in her eyes threatened to tear his heart in two. Jesus, what was he supposed to do to actually help this poor woman?

“Johnny, it's all gone...” She told him, her body beginning to tremble. By the grace of some god, he remembered the box and jumped up.

“No, no, it's not. Just...g-give me a second.” He stammered, running out to the car to get the box that the fireman had given him.

Left alone in the room, Rosita stared down at her hands, shaking with stress and lack of food. The vague sense of hunger resonated in her belly, but the idea of food was the last thing on her mind. So what was she supposed to do now? She was essentially broke, homeless and had nothing to her name outside of a blue dress, heels and what was left in her purse hanging off the doorknob. This, this mess, this is what Jayni wanted to come back to? Her mouth twitched up in an ironic smile.

Good lord.

I'm such a failure.

She's so much better with Norman and the rest of them.

No wonder he left you.

Everyone will. If she saw you now, she'd turn right back around.

Worthless. Absolutely worthless.

She was beginning to sink and wondered if there were even a reason to come back up from it.

 

The sound of the door opening back up again dragged her out of her self destructive thoughts. Johnny had returned, holding a cardboard box in his hands.

“Um, I don't know what all is in it entirely, but...they were able to at least get this. They said to call your insurance and the landlord's office in the morning since it wasn't safe to go back just yet...” He said, sitting back and timidly handing the box over to her.

Her eyes widened and her hands dove into the box as the very top had her laptop.

“Oh my gosh!” She exclaimed. The edges were a bit burnt and from what she could tell, the battery cable was melted, but that could be replaced. Now did it...? It did! She flipped it up and it stilled turned on just as it had the night before. “I...I can still work. I can still at least work.”

Setting it aside, she turned to the rest of the box. There were clothes, most of them still too big for her from the weight loss, but clothes to wear nonetheless. She noted that some of the more familiar items such as her flowered apron and her favorite pink shirt were missing, but something else was still there.

Her picture box. She'd kept her pictures in a steel lunch box that had been once used appropriately when she was a child. Outside of being blackened, it was still perfectly fine. Her hands shook like crazy as she gently opened the lid.

They were fine. All her photos. All the baby pictures and...Her and Norman's wedding photos. How happy and beaming she looked in them. How in love he looked with her.

It all felt like another life. She could barely even feel that the woman in the photos really was her. Did his new partner look like this? Would she get a phone call that she'd be wearing a white dress soon next to him and promising to be there forever? Would their children cheer and be happy? Where would she be in this?

Where was she supposed to be now?

'Gone.' A voice in her head echoed in response to her questioning.

 

The darkening in her eyes as she looked over the photos began to frighten Johnny and tug at his heart. He began to reach his hand out and was about to call her name when they both jumped nearly three feet as music began to loudly play from her purse.

 

 _I want your ugly_  
_I want your disease_  
_I want your everything_  
_As long as it's free_  
_I want your love_  
_Love-love-love_  
_I want your love_

 

Johnny scrambled to his feet, half tripping over them and knocking his face into the door frame with a loud thud. Rosita's hands went to her mouth with a gasp as he rubbed his nose. “I'm okay, I'm okay!” He said, getting her purse from the door and handing it to her. She set the box aside, closing the lid and searched frantically through her bag, looking for her phone. The ringtone told her exactly who it was, even before she finally hit the button and before she could say hello, was audibly assaulted with a loud voice.

“ROSITA, VHERE ARE YOU!? I THOUGHT YOU VERE DEAD! I vent to your apartment to check on you und I saw the police tapes and the building ist all black on your floor and you never called me and ROSITAAAAAAA~” He was half crying and half whining into her ear, forcing her to hold the phone away from her face.

“Gunter, it's okay, I'm perfectly fine. Johnny was kind enough to take me back home and make sure I was safe.” She worked to soothe her friend, gratefully taking the tissues that Johnny had grabbed from his dresser for her and cleaning off her face. “He...just told me about the apartment. But, they were able to get some of my things at least.”

“I told you that place vas a piece of shit! It's no vonder that it vent up in flames. It vas probably that neighbor of yours whose place alvays reeks of cat urine und pot.”

“No...no, Johnny said they told him it was an electrical fire.” To be honest, she wasn't all that surprised. The wiring in the whole place had needed to be replaced for the entire time she lived there and many of her neighbors had exposed wires running down their walls due to damage. She wondered how there hadn't been an incident earlier, but during the time, she hadn't really cared all that much.

“Ach, vell, it's for the better, at least for that building. Maybe it vill get the stickler you call a landlord to fix it finally. Vhat are you going to do though, did you lose everything?” He asked, now sounding calmer and not screaming into her ear.

“I...don't really know just yet. My laptop made it, so I can still work from...well, anywhere I can find an internet connection. I don't suppose you could...?” She brought her voice up in a bit of a pleading, but found herself rebuked.

“Ahhh, Rosi, my friend, I would love to take you in, but ve barely have any room for myself und Raymond and ve are looking into moving as is.” Her face fell, but she did her best to hide the disappointment from Johnny, who was still sitting nearby and had a tissue pressed to his face, stemming a minor nose bleed from falling into the door. Despite him being calmer, Gunter's loud voice was more than audible through the phone, though Johnny did his best to pretend he wasn't listening in.

“Ach, are you still vith Johnny? He better have taken good care of you! I trust in his judgment and his honor as a gentleman! If he took any kind of advantage of you, I vill be very disappointed!” Well, so much for pretending not to listen, as hearing that brought a choke into his throat and restarted the nose bleed from the blood that rushed to his face. Out of instinct, he took the phone from her.

 

“No, no, no, god no, nothing like that happened! She's perfectly safe and sound, I swear it, I would never...” He pleaded into the phone before he realized that he had swiped it from her. “Umm...ehe...s-sorry, Rosita, that was rather rude of me...” He pressed the tissue to his face and went to hand it back to her, but Gunter called out his name, making him pause and bring the phone back to his face.

“Hey, listen.” He sounded quieter now, as though he were whispering loudly. “You are the only vone I would trust, I know you vould not do things like that, but I have to check. You see, she ist in a very tender place and although I vould love to be there for her at all times, I cannot because of my own things. But you, I like you very much, so I ask you as a favor to me and to her. You take care of her for a vhile, till she can go home. She needs someone who can listen like you, who can be...” He heard him ask Raymond a question in the background, then returned to him. “Like stone wall.”

“...stone wall?” He asked, confused.

“Oh good lord, G-baby, a rock. Support.” He could hear the coo of Raymond in the distance.

“Yes, that ist it! Be a rock!”

“Um...yeah, I...suppose I could...” He looked to Rosita, who seemed confused as to why he'd not given the phone back, but didn't look upset or bothered by it, only tired.

“Good, now give phone back!” Gunter commanded. He followed suit, handing her back the phone sheepishly.

“H-Hi? What's going on?”

“Okay, so ve have plan. You are going to stay with Johnny till you can go home or ve can find you a new non shitty apartment!”

“Wait, hold on. I can't just impose on him like this! When were you going to ask what I thought of this, Gunter!?” She looked at the phone, getting annoyed as he began to make fake static sounds.

“Oh no -krrrtt- I think ve are -kkrtttt- connection. I call you -krrtt- later, much love -krrrttt-, okay? Bye, Rosi!”

The dial tone sounded and she let the phone drop to her side, hand on her face and the headache beginning to creep back up, this time simply from frustration and feeling overwhelmed.

“Goddamn it. I'm so sorry. He does this, makes plans without ever asking me what I think. I've already imposed on you more than I needed to...”

“No, no! I mean...um, yeah, it's unexpected, but...I mean where else would you go? And it's...a lot safer than your apartment sounded, or is at the moment. I don't imagine you could go back to your old place...” He immediately regretted saying that as he watched a twinge of pain roll over her face and began to stutter. “I-I, ah fuck, just...” His hand came up and scratched the back of his head, taking in a breath and regathering his thoughts as he changed up his approach. This may be a cheap tactic, but given her disposition and personality, it might help.

“Well, I mean since Dad's been gone and my uncles, it's been...kinda lonely. I haven't really had anyone around and could really use some company...” That worked, it seemed. Her face changed a bit, looking nervous but considering it. Might as well go for broke.

“Can't remember having a woman at home since Mum...” Yep, there it was. Banking on her sense of maternal instinct worked perfectly, though he did feel a bit guilty at playing off her emotions. He wondered how having someone around would be again. He had to admit, he had actually had moments of loneliness during his time, but the touring and recording schedule kept him busy enough to ignore it. Now that he had some downtime...maybe some company really would be nice. He'd be able to at least make up for not being there during those years when she was struggling through her marriage and divorce.

 

Rosita was torn.

Beyond her roommates back in college, she'd never lived with anyone outside of Norman. Even after she moved into the apartment, she'd declined roommates due to her own nerves as well as not wanting anyone to really see her in the state she was in beyond her closest friend. And to be living with a man so soon after her divorce...

Well, I mean, Johnny was younger than her, but still...he wasn't the teenager she quite remembered. He still retained much of his youthful face and personality, but the presence he had now was much more...stable and attentive. He'd gotten more muscular and taller, though his physique was not quite alpha material and probably would never be. Not that it was a bad thing. The thought of his body in the shower rolled back into her mind and turned her cheeks into a vibrant cherry red. But...he was genuinely asking, it seemed. And it would be...nice to take care of someone again. To feel needed.

Ah.

Her hands reached up to her cheeks, feeling wetness come again. How long had it been since she felt...needed?

 

Oh fuck. Maybe he'd gone too far.

She'd started crying again.

“Um, I mean, if it's too much, you certainly don't have to, I don't want to make you feel like-”

“Okay.”

“What?”

“Okay. I mean... if it would help you and make things easier around the house...”

Oh. He breathed a sigh of relief, handing her another tissue, which she took gratefully. His sense of duty and wanting to help was calling out to him to do something more.

“Um, can I...I mean...do you want a hug?” He said, opening his arms and looking to her shyly.

She looked up and gave a soft nod, not quite expecting the weight and ease that he drew her in with. Now sober, she remembered the smell of the body spray he wore to the rehearsals. Seems that he'd continued using it. His chest was massive and sturdy, almost unconsciously leaning her head into it to hear a large and slightly nervous heartbeat against her ear. Was he nervous around her or just scared for her? She couldn't really muster up the energy to be scared for herself, though were she watching from outside herself, she might have been.

She felt the low rumble in his chest as he spoke. “Hey, listen...it's gonna be okay. I'm sorry I wasn't really around to be a friend during this, so...let me make up for some lost time, okay?” Between the warmth of his arms around her and the come down from the emotions, she was losing the want to remain awake. Fuck, what was her life becoming? What was this mess anymore? Unable to form an answer on her lips, she just nodded and let her body go lax against him, eyes drifting closed.

 

When he'd asked if she wanted a hug, he didn't quite expect her to take it, but when she nodded, he couldn't really back out at that point. Why was doing this with her sober a lot more frightening than when she was drunk? Maybe just the lack of experience Johnny had with women or his fears of hurting her somehow. She really was a tiny thing, a fact which seemed to reaffirm itself as he could feel her lean into his chest.

The guilt in his heart spread throughout, making him want to squeeze her till all the bad things just oozed out of her. He wanted to cry along with her, cry for the time lost that she'd been on her own, suffering through this and for how much she didn't deserve this. Even without knowing the details, he remembered the Rosita from those years back and that she never would have done a thing to deserve being left behind like this. She gave so much of herself, even her performance and the joy of her song and dance were gifts she wanted to share with her family and loved ones. She worked so hard and to have it all just fall through her hands like sand...maybe it was that loss of family, that distance and disappointment that Johnny knew well, when he finally began to be himself and nearly lost them from that...if her family wasn't there for her, he knew he could be, at least as much as he could.

“Hey, listen...it's gonna be okay. I'm sorry I wasn't really around to be a friend during this, so...let me make up for some lost time, okay?” He told her, simplifying his thoughts into something far less overwhelming than what his brain was coming up with. He could feel her nod against him and the weight against him change as she lent into him more. Was he that comforting? Or was she just that exhausted from it all? Maybe both, he thought to himself.

Her breathing slowed and Johnny realized that she'd fallen asleep again. Well, this was a good thing at least. Maybe now she'd get some actual rest. He was about to pick her up to move her so she could lay down comfortably, but her hands gripped his T-shirt a bit tighter, making his heart jump a bit.

Oops. Well...he supposed that he could stay like this a bit longer, at least until she was well asleep. His hand returned to her head, stroking back one of her ears that had fallen over her face. She had always been very pretty to him, but seeing her rest put his heart at ease, glad to at least be a source of that, even if it included literally.

He wondered if at some point, he should talk to Norman about what happened. But, the idea seemed a futile venture. It wasn't his place to know or to really talk, while he knew Norman before, they'd never been anything more than brief acquaintances. Plus...they'd been divorced for at least a while. What good would it do at this point?

He sighed softly, wondering what more he could do. “Well, this is a fine kettle of fish you've managed to get yourself into, mate.” He said to himself, looking down at Rosita, hearing soft little snorts here and there. It made him smirk in amusement. Cute.

When he felt her grip loosen, he moved her back to the bed, making sure to keep her on her side in case she still felt sick to her stomach later. With all luck, she'd stay asleep for a good while. Till then, he needed to make sure he'd actually have the time to be there and that was going to require a few slightly annoying phone calls.

“Oy Mum, is this what you meant when you said I'd have to put aside myself to take care of someone? Cause if it is, this is a lot harder than I thought.” He said to the room, looking up to the ceiling. “Dad is one thing, but...hopefully I'll do as good a job as you did for us.”

 

Song used: “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga

 


	6. Chapter 6

Whether it was simply all the crying she'd done in the last 24 hours or that she didn't have to worry about going home to a burned out shoe box or just being somewhere new, but her dreams were...strangely pleasant. Instead of the constant replays of her past that would leave her with a tear soaked pillow in the mornings, Rosita dreamt of memories from before her married days, when she would help her mother in the kitchen in the morning. The smell of bread baking and the tickle of her father's facial hair as he kissed her forehead were so real and seemed so present.

“Mama, why did you marry Daddy?” She remembered asking, seeing the smile that spread over her mother's face so naturally as she mulled over the reasons.

“Because I love your Daddy very dearly. And he loves me just as much.” Her voice was thick and sweet like molasses, with a slight drawl to it.

“Will I find someone like Daddy?” She looked up with hopeful eyes to her mother, who laughed softly and wiped a napkin over her daughter's face to clean away the food.

“Mmm, you very well could. You have a very loving heart, Rosie. Any man would be lucky to have and hold you.” The voice seemed to shift and as her mother turned her face away, the figure suddenly turned into Gunter. “He's not vorth you, Rosita! You are so much better than this.”

 

The sudden shift made her jump backwards and she was back into her adult body, feeling her feet dip into water and suddenly being pulled under. In shock, she let out a scream, expecting water to start filling her lungs, but instead finding herself able to breathe. Once the initial panic wore off, she began to swim downwards, watching as the darkness of the water began to bleed in around her.

She looked left and right, trying to find a sign of something familiar or living, little lights appearing around her. After a moment, she recognized them as the squids from the show. Was she in the tank? Why wasn't she drowning?

A rumble sounded below her.

Crap, crap, crap.

Before she could even begin to move, a current opened below and the drag was far too powerful to resist. As she felt herself be pulled, she could see silhouettes of her children's faces watching her. They passed by, aging before her eyes from the tiny piglets she knew into young adults who began to look away and swim out into the darkness.

“Casper, George, Kelly, Hannah...” She cried out, reaching for them even as they swam away from her. “Please, don't leave Mommy, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...”

“Why are you apologizing, Rosita? What did you do wrong?”

What...what was this voice? It wasn't one she recognized.

She felt the current suddenly slow and her body simply drop from the sensation of water into one of falling through the air. The darkness let itself shatter in shards, giving way to the city below her. Oh damn it, now she really was falling.

“Wake up, come on, Rosita, wake up!” She called out to herself, watching the ground come into view faster and faster. “Shit, shit, shit. Come on, Rosie, wake up!”

It wasn't working and the panic was setting in, now able to see the cars below.

“Norman, Norman, someone, please wake me up! Norman, Norman!” She called out, crying hysterically, but found no help. Maybe someone else.

“Babies, please wake Mommy!” She rattled off all their names, but again, found no response.

“Please, please wake up, anyone, anyone else! Meena, Gunter, Raymond, Mike, Johnny-”

 

THUMP.

The sound woke up the gorilla who had dozed off on the downstairs couch. He'd spent most of the day on the phone with his agency and manager, keeping them abreast of the situation that he'd found himself in. While his manager wasn't exactly happy with the idea of him being preoccupied with caring for a friend, she knew Johnny's personality and moved his schedule and appearance dates around to at least give the big guy some time to get her settled. She'd also ordered in groceries so that Rosita wouldn't have to live off his more...simple diet.

He pushed himself up off the couch, his strength ending up flipping the couch over on its side. He cringed, forgetting he could do that, but paid it no other mind as he went to his bedroom to make sure she was okay.

“Rosita! Are you all right?” He called through the door, trying to be polite. “Are you hurt?”

 

The thump had come from her rolling too far to the side, landing flat on her back. Immediately, pain shot up through her body and she was more than awake now.

“Owwww....Goddamn it...”

What the hell was up with that dream? She'd never had one like that before. She didn't have much time to linger on the thought before she heard Johnny's voice through the door.

“I'm...okay, maybe not okay...I might need a bit of help.” Holy hell, that landing was not kind to her. Her back was now radiating more than a bit of pain and upon trying to sit up, she found that it rejected the notion, sending electrical shocks straight up her spine.

She could hear the door open and the padding footsteps as Johnny moved over to her. Seeing her prone on the floor, he rushed over to her side.

“Are you all right? Shit, I forgot how high the bed was. Can you get up?” He reached down his hands to help her up, her tiny hands gripping his and gritting her teeth as her back wrenched in pain. There was a particularly sharp spike of pain in her shoulder that made her pull her arm back and wrap the other around it, making Johnny flinch.

“Owww...it's okay, it's not your fault, I must have rolled out in my sleep. Oh god, what time is it?” She looked up to the clock, which read out 7:31 pm. Christ, she'd been asleep almost all day. Even on her worst days back home, she never slept this long, she'd at least get maybe a chore done and her work...

CRAP.

Her work.

“Shit, the Keller project was due today!” She went to get up and gripped the bed, but the stabbing sensation that shot through her left shoulder decided otherwise, making her hiss and curl back into herself.

“Hey, woah, don't move.” Johnny knelt beside her, carefully pulling her good arm from her shoulder to look. The dress she'd still been wearing was a tank style, so it was easy to see her movements. He licked his lips in nervousness, gently lifting her arm to see how far her rotation would go.

“Ahhh!” She cried out and withdrew her arm back into her grasp when Johnny brought it any higher than her neck line.

Not very far, it seems. Seeing her draw back in pain, he grimaced.

“I don't think you should be doing anything with that shoulder for a bit. You might have sprained it when you fell.”

“I need to submit my work by tonight, I completely forgot. If I don't, I won't get paid and I can't make my rent...oh. Well, I still need to get paid and keep my boss happy.” He briefly forgot that she wasn't paying rent on her apartment, though the idea of staying at Johnny's and not doing anything or leeching off of him was simply unacceptable.

“Your work can wait till you at least get your shoulder stable and maybe a bit to eat. It's not going anywhere.” He took her other arm to help her to her feet. “Um...this may be inappropriate to say...” He was blushing a bit as she got to her feet, still holding her shoulder. “But, maybe change out of the dress? I can't imagine it made a very good set of pajamas.”

She'd completely forgotten that she was still in the slinky blue number from the day before. The soft fabric felt sticky against her skin after soaking in the sweat from a full day. Ugh, yes, shower.

“Yeah, I think you have the right idea.” She looked to the box and went to pull out something random from it, but realized a flaw in her plan.

Everything smelled like smoke and must.

Johnny watched her gag as she pulled out random clothes. He hadn't noticed it before, but having been sitting in a burning apartment, they must have been bathed in it.

“Great, these will probably need a heavy wash to get that smell out...” She sighed, feeling the pain in her shoulder go from a heavy spike to a dull throbbing. Working with his was going to be a massive chore, given she was left handed.

“Um, I can look for something you can wear, I'm sure there's something around...And while you're in the shower, I can wash your stuff.”

She turned to look at him and the idea of this big guy washing her delicates, however plain they had become in the last year, for the first time in a while, made her laugh with a snort.

 

The laugh that she let out surprised him more than anything that had happened in the past day. It was probably the first time he'd heard it, both before and now.

“W-what? I can do laundry, I'm not entirely hopeless as a guy.” He said sheepishly, sitting down on the bed.

“Um, Johnny, I appreciate the offer but...” She stopped, looking to the box. The idea of trying to do all those clothes, some she'd probably not seen in years and others with memories attached seemed far more tiring, especially trying to move them between machines, or god forbid, hand wash.

He seemed to realize what she was implying though and his cheeks flushed a deep red.

“Oh, OH, um, oh damn, sorry, I wasn't even thinking. Uh, just...I'll get someone to come in tomorrow and do it, someone not me, so that's it's not weird or uncomfortable. Heh, um...” He stuttered a bit, rising to his feet. “I'll go and get something for you to wear tonight so you can use the bath.” He walked backwards, feeling his back accidentally hit the door and making him jump. “Oh, ah, heh, the bigger bath is upstairs. I'll leave the stuff for you out by it.”

She couldn't help a soft smirk as she watched him act so awkward. It seems even with his newfound stardom, Johnny really hadn't changed much or let it go to his head. He seemed even more himself, if that made any sense.

Ahh...had she changed at all? And if she had, was it for better...or worse?

 

God, he was so stupid.

He offered to wash her clothes. Yes, Johnny, offer to touch your friend's underwear and have that not be creepy. His cheeks were still flushed with embarrassment as he gathered up towels and neutral bath products, as he didn't imagine she wanted to use his stuff. Thankfully, he kept a few things for guests around, not that he had that many, but at least to be prepared.

The major issue was going to be clothing.

All of his shirts and pants were insanely huge compared to her body. Even his small muscle shirts were going to look like a tent over Rosita's petite height.

“Damn it, there's got to be something around.” He scratched his head and thought hard of where he could find something at least somewhat wearable for a woman.

A box in his dad's wardrobe stuck out in his mind, though not without a cringe in his soul remembering.

“...at least it'll be more wearable than my stuff.” He went upstairs and found the box labled “Mum's Stuff.” Despite his rugged and brash appearance, his dad was actually a rather sentimental guy when it came to his mom, though he'd never admit it to anyone. Johnny had more than once caught him opening the box and pressing one of his mother's dresses close to his heart, speaking to what he imagined to be angels, sometimes telling her about Johnny and sometimes begging for forgiveness for the life that he were leading. He'd never heard his father ask forgiveness from God, just his mother.

His own hands paused as they hovered over the box for a moment, then took in a breath as he opened it.

Her things looked as new as they could. Her smell had long left the clothing, though a half filled bottle of perfume still rested at the bottom of the box. Pulling out a few items, he frowned. They'd still be a bit big for her, but it was at least not going to trip her when she walked. ...granted, it did feel strange to be in the box at all, like he was invading a place that was for his dad only.

“Sorry Dad, but I think Mum would have wanted these to get some good use.” He said, leaving a pair of pajamas, a robe and a dress on the bathroom counter. At least she'd have something for tonight and tomorrow.

 

Rosita hadn't really gotten the chance to do so, but now that she was able to take in the full extent of where she was, she realized exactly how huge the house actually felt, especially compared to the tiny apartment that she'd been living in for the past year. Hell, Johnny's bedroom was bigger than her full place. Much of it was rather sparse, basic comforts but very little of what she imagined of his personality. She did notice a rather nice piano that made its home in the living room and it made her smile a bit knowing he'd still kept up with his practice.

Coming up the stairs, she turned the corner and nearly ran straight into him.

“Oops. Sorry.”

“Oh no, it's okay, um, everything's there for you and if you want, you don't have to sleep in my room tonight, can get you set up up here or in the guest bedroom. Whatever's more comfortable.” He offered.

“Oh, that probably is a better idea. I mean, I imagine you probably want your own room back.” She gave an awkward laugh. This was...still feeling really strange. “I'll take a look and see after the bath.”

“No worries, take your time. I'll be downstairs if you need anything.” He nodded, scurrying out of the bedroom to leave her to her devices.

She gave a look around and knew this had to be the room that was meant for his dad. It was a master bedroom with an open hall off to the side that was an attached bathroom. While she'd seen it briefly earlier, she had not seen the massive tub in the corner. This was... far more luxury than she'd ever expected. Granted, she imagined that the tub was not necessarily as large as it seemed, but more that it was large for her since she wasn't a gorilla and needing more space.

Out of habit, she went to reach over with her left hand, drawing it back with a hiss as her shoulder protested. Damn it. Well, maybe the heat would do good things for it. She changed hands and let the water begin to fill the tub as she looked to the small assortment of things he'd left on the counter for her to use.

A few bottles of body wash, shampoo and conditioner. Heh. Had he forgotten she didn't really have hair to speak of? Though the conditioner was helpful for her skin, at least when she could afford it. They were the basic brands, simple and ones you could find anywhere.

What surprised her were the clothes he'd laid out next to them. Her fingers brushed over the purple terry cloth robe and the cotton pajamas, decorated with silver stripes. There was no way he'd fit into these or wear these, at least never in the universe that she could imagine. She brought them up to her face, taking in the scent and found a very foreign one, nothing like anything she'd ever smelled from Johnny or anyone. The smell was faded, but for her sensitive nose, she could pick it up. Extremely feminine, but exotic at the same time, like a fruit garden. She wondered if maybe this had been a sibling's, but Johnny had never talked about any kind of sister or...

Oh.

He'd given her his mother's clothing.

She set down the pajamas, feeling almost as though she were touching someone holy. Johnny had never said anything about his mom to the group beyond noting that she wasn't in his life anymore. No one felt willing to pry and at the time, they were all so busy and preoccupied, it never really came back up.

“Um, are you sure it's okay to use these?” She called down to him.

“Yeah, it's all good, don't worry!” He shouted back up to her.

Well, if he said so...

 

The water was heavenly and being such a large tub, she was able to sink herself all the way down in the water. Hell, she could swim in this if she felt the urge. For now though, just feeling the heat wash over her sore body was more than enough.

 

 _Where did I go wrong_  
_Can't look you in the eye_  
_Feeling so ashamed_  
_It feels like I could die_  
_Hold me up_  
_Don't let go_  
_I've had enough_

Someone was playing music from a radio nearby out the open window. The night was still warm enough to keep the windows open and let out some of the steam so the mirrors didn't get overly fogged. The guitar and the rough voice of the singer felt like the water, stinging her skin but in a good way.

 _I'm tired of breathing_  
_Tired of feeling_  
_Tired of looking at the past for meaning_  
_Tired of running_  
_Tired of searching_  
_Tired of trying_  
_But I'm not_  
_Tired of you_

 

Heh. She was tired. So tired of it all. Even after sleeping all day, she felt as though she could go back down in no time. The lyrics resonated in her heart, wondering if she stayed in the water long enough, she'd see her stress and depression simply bleed out of her body and stain the water.

 

 _Losing everything_  
_Is something I can't face_  
_Hope is on the run_  
_It's something I can't sake_  
_Hold me up_  
_Don't let go_  
_I've had enough_

 

When she'd tried to move her shoulder to wash herself, she found that it was still not cooperative, even after being submerged in hot water. Damn it. She may have actually hurt herself. Just another bundle to throw onto the pile of things that were going wrong. No, that wasn't entirely true. She'd been given a place of rest, more support, been able to keep her important things as well as her life...

 _I'm tired of breathing_  
_Tired of feeling_  
_Tired of looking at the past for meaning_  
_Tired of running_  
_Tired of searching_  
_Tired of trying_  
_But I'm not_  
_Tired of you_  
_(But I'm) Not tired of you_  
_(But I'm) Not tired of you_

 

Her life.

Augh.

She let her eyes close and her face sink below the water, blowing bubbles from her nose and listening to the muted music from under the water before coming back up. Fuck it. She'd just not be able to wash that side tonight.

 

 _I want to find a change_  
_I don't mind if it hurts_  
_You take away the pain_  
_You're the only thing that's pure_

 

 

...everything hurt. Everything except him right now. And Rosita found it was the only thing that she could truly trust not to hurt.

 

 _I'm tired of breathing_  
_Tired of feeling_  
_Tired of looking at the past for meaning_  
_Tired of running_  
_Tired of searching_  
_Tired of trying_  
_But I'm not_  
_Tired of you_  
_(But I'm) Not tired of you_  
_(But I'm) Not tired of you_

 

With a brain that felt just as fogged as the air in the bathroom finally, she shifted to the sitting shelf in the bath and rested her head on the side of the tub, not sleeping, but allowing herself to doze with nothing more on the mind than the sound of the radio carrying her away into the night.

 

Song used: “Tired of You” by The Exies

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter got HELLA long, for some reason. Maybe since it took more than a day or so to really get what I wanted. I had the ideas going, but finding the right song to go with it takes more time than you might think. At least for me.  
> Also, starting to get into a bit of tension between the two, especially for the younger and inexperienced Johnny. No mature warnings just yet, but we'll get there in time. Hope you enjoy and let me know if you do!

While Rosita was soaking away her weariness and thoughts, Johnny had begun to busy himself in the kitchen. After picking up the disgrunted couch, that is. He wondered what she thought of the place. When he took a minute to stand there and view it himself, he found it plain but at least clean and comfortable. Not that he did much of the cleaning beyond his own room. Honestly, he didn't get much chance, or hadn't while he was recording. It had been by scheduling luck that he'd just come back around not too long when Mike gave him the phone call. Otherwise, he questioned whether he would have been able to be there at the club that night. Hell, even when he had the time, he didn't really like being home by himself unless it was to practice or he was just flat out exhausted.

Despite his good nature and good looks, Johnny was still as shy as ever and given the industry he was in, he didn't usually make friends as easily as some might have assumed. Sure, he knew now how to shake an executive's hand firm and smile, how to talk to them and be clear and concise about contract terms and to hand things over to his manager when it seemed like negotiations were starting to falter, but just making real friends again or heaven forbid, romantic endeavors....

“Ouch!” He jumped a bit, bringing his finger to his mouth, having nicked the tip.

He'd not gotten great at cooking since he was left on his own. Barry did most of the cooking when they were all still living together. Since the arrests, Johnny had been doing his best, though his fears of the stove and fire kept him from doing so much with actual cooking. As a result, he'd gotten decent with his knife skills and stuck to a raw style diet, which was just as well since his manager wanted him to keep his figure and body shape.

“Damn, maybe I should have asked her what she likes.” He remarked to himself, finishing slicing through a cucumber and carrot. “Probably needs something cold after that bath too.” He pursed his lips, looking through the cabinets and finding a pair of glasses, the second being comically small in his hands.

They nearly hit the floor as he jumped, hearing his phone ring and reaching into his pocket, fumbling with it before answering, not even bothering to look at the screen to see who it was.

 

“H-hello, this is Johnny.” He said, then felt annoyed at his own over polite unconsciousness.

“Hey, kid. Heard things got a little crazy last night.”

Ahh. It was Mike.

“Ohh, Mike, it's you. Um, well...” He scratched his head, mouth turned into a face of unsureness. “I suppose so. You didn't...I mean...”

“Trust me, I know. It's already in the papers.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“You don't think you didn't have mosquitos on your tail, did ya?”

“Mosquitos? Mike, what are you talking about?”

“The cameras, papperazi, come on, kid. You're a big star and back in your home town, of course they're gonna be wondering what you're getting into. Look, turn on the news, you'll see. They're talking about it right now.”

Abandoning his work in the kitchen, Johnny moved to the living room and hit the button on his remote, looking for the evening news. Sure enough, there it was, his faded picture carrying Rosita out of the club. The headline running under it read, “A Night Too Wild: Is Sweetheart Johnny Seeking Out Older Women?”

“Local star Johnny G was spotted leaving Ewe Are Fab last night around 2 am, with no less than previously known Rosita, the female half of the dance pair, GunzNRozes. Her fame had collapsed within the last three years after rumors of martial troubles and a canceling of all of their shows together occurred, seeming as though the mother turned star simply vanished without a trace. It seems that may have been for a reason, is this why those marriage troubles began in the first place, has there been a secret that none of us kn-”

He didn't even bother to let the newscaster finish before changing the channel and rubbing his temples.

“What the hell, really? Bloody ridiculous.”

“This is what happens when you don't pay attention, kid. They get ya when you are least expectin' it. Though you takin' her home, that's a ballsy move, didn't expect it from you.”

“Wh-what are y-you talking about? Who told you that?!” He stuttered and pressed the phone to his face, tossing the remote to the couch.

“Relax, big guy. Gunter's in and has been talking you up to his beau all night, all kinda praise to you and what sounds like tryin' to hook you two up.”

“No, no, no, god, no that's not the reason!”

“Wait, so you did take her home?”

“No! I mean- yes, I did, but that's...I mean, I had to. Her place was...non-existant, at least right now.”

Now concern actually cropped up in Mike's voice and Johnny could hear him move away from the bar and into a quieter place. “Wait, what? What do you mean, the place doesn't exist? The hell happened?”

“I guess there was a fire and-”

“Mother fucker, I told him he needed to stop being a goddamn cheapskate and fix that electrical! He can do whatever he wants about the interiors, but there's a line that can't be crossed! I mean, for Christ' sake, that could kill somebody!” He could hear Mike swear, making him flush. It was fine when he was the one doing it, but hearing those words from someone else, especially Mike who made them sound far more intimidating than he ever could, brought second hand embarrassment to him.

“How bad was it?” He asked, sounding frustrated and tired.

“Um...pretty bad. She's not called the manager yet, but...”

“Tell her not to bother, I'll call him up myself and give him another earful.”

“What, do you know the guy well or something?”

“Yeah, sorta. Look, I'm gonna be real with you a second, kid, and I don't like being real like this. She probably won't be getting her place back anytime soon, but that may not be a bad thing, to be honest. So, for now, you got a new roommate. But, be goddamn careful where you go and when you do. Being a celebrity, somebody's always got their eye on you and looking to smear your name. You may have a reputation for being a good kid and polite, but they see you toting around Rosita, they are gonna be all over you like wolves on a steak. And they will do WHATEVER they need to do to drag he right down with you. A divorcee, ain't been seen in the public eye for years, got 25 kids? Oh you bet they'll be looking for every drop of gossip they can suck out of ya.”

He hadn't considered how it looked at all beyond what his dad might think. He remembered the rumors that sparked because of a performance he did with Ash and how people were practically pushing them together. The truth behind it was that the two were never anything more than friends and just enjoyed working together. Ash was enjoying the attention she got from her fans and had more than her fair share of men to choose from. Johnny...well...it hadn't really crossed his mind much. The thought was intimidating, to say the least.

The truth was that he'd taken an older woman, albiet his old friend, home late at night, and she was now going to live with him. ...yeah, this looked really bad once he took the time to actually look.

“So, what am I supposed to do?”

“Keep your head down and your eyes peeled. Don't leave the house at the same time. You got a security guy at your place?”

“What? No, why should I?”

“Get one. Build him an office if you don't have one, or at least get some cameras to make sure they aren't hovering close.”

“Mike, is this really necessary?”

“I'm telling you this for your own good. ...you're young and you got a good career ahead of you. The world is cruel and will eat a little tender heart like yourself if you give it a chance. ...plus, I ain't good at this stuff. You can offer a lot more to her than I ever could, and obviously given her place now, even that didn't pan out so smoothly.”

“...you're a better friend than you think, Mike.”

He could hear a gag over the phone.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, kid. Don't pull that friend talk on me, it just keeps shit out of my fur and from getting back to me. Oh, and one more thing.”

“What?”

He could hear a chuckle on the other line.

“Wear protection if ya do get close. Older women can drive a little boy like you crazy.”

Had he been drinking anything, it would have been splattered all over the wall.

“M-m-mike, th-that's obscene! I wouldn't, I've never, I mean...” He stammered, unable to articulate a response back quite so well. Mike couldn't help laughing and the sound of the bar returned in the background.

“Good luck, J. You'll need it.”

 

Johnny found himself on the couch, hand covering his face as he felt a weight on his shoulders that was not there before. He'd thought this was going to be a lot more simple than it was turning out to be. While he was aware of papparazi and being in the spotlight, he never paid it all that much mind, having become used to it. ...did he make a mistake in letting Rosita stay with him? She'd be subjected to the public eye far more than she was used to. But, he couldn't just tell her to leave, the woman had no home to go back to and he'd feel like the biggest tool on the planet doing that.

“Johnny? Is everything okay?”

He let his hand slide down from his face and looked up at the stairs.

Well. That...fit better than he thought.

Rosita stood there, looking tired, but concerned at him over the railing, the purple robe wrapped around her body and the pajamas underneath. She'd folded the ankles up substantially to make it so they stayed around her ankles. Even with the circles under her eyes, she at least looked more awake and finally had lost the redness from tears. The robe was long and skimmed the floor, but wrapped about her well. Something about the sight let Johnny breathe a bit more and he lifted himself off the couch.

“Yeah, I'm okay. Just got a phone call from Mike.”

“Mike? I didn't know you two were talking.”

Something told him not to let her know that Mike had been the one to tell him to go to the club the night before, call it intuition.

“Yeah, he's given me some advice over time. Decent advice, actually.”

He watched her frown and grimace.

“Oh god, he must have heard about the apartment.”

“Ahh...yeah. He said not to worry about calling the manager, that he'd handle things.”

“God, he's already handled enough. He was the one to help me get my place when things were...bad.”

“Yeah...I figured.” Desperate for a subject change and to lift her spirits a bit, he offered her the couch and stood up. “So...I figured you might be a bit hungry, but...I forgot to ask what you like...”

She blinked, realizing that she'd not eaten all day and felt the pangs of hunger bite at her stomach.

“Oh, anything. You kind of learn not to be picky when you cook a lot. Try everything and set a good example.” He could see the memory of cooking for her children pass over her face and a wistful expression form.

“Ahh, that's-that's good, at least. That you won't turn your nose up.” He gave her a smile, going to the kitchen as she took a seat on the couch. Firm, really firm, but not overly so.

“Do you need any help?”

“No, no! I'm peachy, just relax. You're a guest.”

Guest. Ugh, the thought of not doing anything was slightly anxiety inducing. She was so used to chores and taking care of people, it felt strange to have it done for her. Being in a new place was nerve wracking as well. Putting on the robe and pajamas, her body felt foreign and guilt went through her for both using such nice clothes and remembering the previous night. Why did she feel like she deserved to go out like that? She wouldn't be causing trouble now if she'd just stayed home...in her now blackened apartment...

Her hand moved over the remote by accident and she thought to herself that maybe it was better to distract her brain. Oh, but, consideration.

“Um, so...do you watch anything particular or just...anything?”

“Oh, um...” NO NEWS, NO NEWS, flashed through his thoughts. “Anything but the news. It, um...tends to get me down.” Good cover, Johnny.

“Oh, sure.” She couldn't blame him for that. These days, no news really did feel like good news. She turned on the large television and allowed herself to channel surf before landing on a program that had a celebrity chef showing off his skills. It was a rerun she'd seen a while back, but it still was something to watch. The thought of work hovered in the back of her mind, but the idea of trying to focus on structural errors and look for improvements was far too much for the moment. Right now, she was warm, not worrying about the ceiling leaking or a broken coffee pot or wondering if something was going to crawl from the crack in the wall, the couch was comfortable and she was going to be fed decent food.

...a strange pain ached in her, this sense of guilt and not deserving to be treated this kindly. It wasn't the first time she'd felt it, but it seemed to be happening more lately.

 

“So...I'm not much a cook.” She looked up from the couch, watching him enter with a plate of chopped vegetables and fruit. “I really don't actually...cook, I suppose.”

“Oh no, that's fine. It's good to see you're eating healthily, regardless of why.” She gave a soft smile, finding it rather endearing how embarrassed he seemed. “And you managed not to cut all your fingers off.”

“Hah, given I just stabbed one today, not sure how well that applies here.” He returned the smile with his own, then looked to the television. “Oh, I like this guy. I used to watch him in the hotel rooms at night.”

“He hams it up way too much for the cameras, but his food looks good. What was it like being on tour and recording?” She asked, nibbling her way through some green apple wedges.

“To be frank, exhausting. My days were usually scheduled to the point where I'd sleep my eight hours exactly simply from opening the door and falling onto the bed. It's slowed down a little bit these days. When I was first beginning to tour, it was absolutely terrifying how rigid it all felt and how you needed to look like you were at 100% no matter what so that fans won't feel like you don't wanna be there. But, they're devoted people and at least for me, it seems like they really wanted me to do well. I don't know what I'd do without Leesa.”

“Leesa?”

“My manager. Bloody hell, she's been a god send, handling the higher ups and making sure it all runs smoothly. I'd have bungled it all up the first year and made a right fool of myself.”

She giggled softly into the sleeve of the robe. She could see Johnny perfectly well trying to please everyone at once and needing a firm but steady side to keep it all from getting too much.

“Sounds like you've found someone very special.” She replied wistfully.

“Well, as far as a colleague and partner in business, yeah. Imagine she's more than happy to go home to her family for a little while since the recordings are done and I don't start touring for a good while. They want to let the new album hit public and really get the songs big before I start touring again.”

“Is it nice to have a break and get to rest at home?”

“I suppose so. Even when I did have some time to myself, being home was always kind of boring. Probably comes with living with my dad and uncles for so long. Always was a loud and active house, so when it's quiet like it has been, kind of...unnerving.”

“Hah, I can relate. I...I still don't like the quiet, even after a year away.” Her face fell a bit. “So whenever I'd be working on my own, I'd have some kind of noise going.”

“Ah...” He wanted to ask about the details, but thought maybe that would be a better thing to let her open up naturally about. “I can imagine. Heh, gets rough when you're alone with your own brain sometimes, eh?” He gave a sympathetic smile and lent forward on his knees, having abandoned his focus on the television and simply just letting her talk.

“Yeah...when I first moved in, it was like I was being suffocated by the silence. Even though things had gotten quieter because all of them were out of the house most of the time, probably to get away from our fights-” She gave a self deprecating smirk and 'heh', “I had enough to keep me going at the time, just picking up after them all. Being on my own...I suppose it got harder to just care for myself, if that makes any sense.”

 

What was it that made Johnny rather easy to open up to, she wondered to herself. Watching his posture and face, she could feel a sense of genuine interest without being too intrusive. He was allowing her to lead the conversation and not overstep any boundaries, but be there for her regardless. ...was this just how he was all the time? Or was it because they had worked alongside of one another all that time ago?

Still...it felt nice to just be able to talk. Gunter was such a dominating figure at times and wouldn't let her talk down on herself or linger too long on her history. He preferred a more proactive approach of throwing yourself into something high energy and bettering yourself immediately after a problem. In contrast, Johnny seemed like a much more passive and slower paced figure, willing to take what she offered and give back when it felt right.

She started to relax a bit, jumping in a wince as she accidentally lent into the injured shoulder. His expression changed as he reached out to her, keeping her from leaning more.

“Woah, careful. Heh, forget you landed on it already?”

“Ahhh...yeah, maybe a bit. It's not so bad...”

“Here, let me see it.” He brought the arm of the robe down, blinking for a minute as he found bare skin under it rather than the stripes of the pajama top, a shadow hinting at unbound cleavage. Putting that aside with a fierce blush, he looked over her shoulder, which had now begun to swell and darken around the joint. Giving it a gentle press with his fingers, she flinched under his touch.

“I-it feels like it's still in place, b-but you shouldn't move it or put too much pressure on it. Could be a strain. I might have something to at least keep it from moving.” He hadn't moved his hand yet and could feel the pulsing of her heart in her neck against the side of his hand. Oh. Was he...lingering too long?

When he pulled his hand away and sat back, she looked...nervous? Did she think he was going to hurt her? Guilt and worry spun in Johnny's stomach.

“Um, s-sorry, didn't mean to scare you or hurt you...”

 

Scare her? Far from it.

Watching him hover over her and his touch come down so tenderly provoked a strange nervousness and warmth about her body, even with the pain radiating from her joint. He'd gotten much closer than when she'd fallen initially and when he'd pulled back the robe, Rosita realized how bad it could have looked. She'd not rejected the top because it didn't fit or wasn't comfortable, but with her shoulder disagreeing, had trouble doing up the buttons on it one handed. She'd also forgone the bra as the clasp in the back was easy enough to remove, but far harder to replace when she'd gotten out of the bath. She'd thought to herself that she would look into the box and see what was still there or just wear some of her larger sweaters until she could replace the clothing articles.

Why didn't this happen earlier when he touched her? Was it because she wasn't near as tired anymore and much more aware? Or had he put her that much at ease that the sudden shift was so intense? ...when was the last time she'd been touched at all?

His blush made her own flare and her heart begin to quicken, working to abandon the thought process before it went any further. He must have noticed with how fast he pulled back, looking up into her face.

“Um, s-sorry, didn't mean to scare you or hurt you...”

No, god no. Johnny was the last person she could imagine being scary in any way. And yet, her pulse felt as though she'd been frightened by a ghost.

“No! No, I'm fine!” She tried to soothe him, seeing the look on his face, shuffling up and accidentally knocking the remote off the couch, changing the channel to a music video station.

 

_Waiting for the time to pass you by_ __  
_Hope the winds of change will change your mind_ __  
_I could give a thousand reasons why_ _  
_ _And I know you, and you've got to_

 

 

She barely noticed the television change, only hearing the sound of the remote clatter on the floor.

“Oh! Hah, my fault, sorry.” She went to reach for it out of instinct with her left shoulder, cringing in pain, but attempting to cover it with a smile. This did not seem to work though, as Johnny moved closer to her.

 

_Make it on your own, but we don't have to grow up_ __  
_We can stay forever young_ __  
_Living on my sofa, drinking rum and cola_ __  
_Underneath the rising sun_ __  
_I could give a thousand reasons why_ _  
_ _But you're going, and you know that_

 

 

“Um...” Why did her mouth feel dry?

He gave a sigh that seemed somewhere between tired and worried, bringing her back up to the couch normally, definitely surprised as she jumped from his touch.

“G-give me a second, I'll find something to...um, just...be right back.”

He got up and she could hear footsteps up the stairs as she sat there, wide eyed and feeling pain radiate, but moreso the heat in her face from embarrassment and how silly this felt.

 

_All you have to do is stay a minute_ __  
_Just take your time_ __  
_The clock is ticking, so stay_ __  
_All you have to do is wait a second_ __  
_Your hands on mine_ _  
_ _The clock is ticking, so stay_

 

 

So, if the thought of being alone with a young male hadn't begun to creep into Johnny's mind and the reality of what that probably had to feel like to a vulnerable woman, it definitely had now.

It didn't matter that he would never hurt a fly, let alone someone he cared for and wanted to look after. God, she looked so...scared. And she was still being nice about it, trying to not make him worry.

Hell, she'd flinched when he'd touched her just to get her back to the couch. ...ahh...The thought began to filter through Johnny's mind. Had he...had he hurt her? Is that way? Or was he just that scary looking? God, he didn't try to be at all, but it wasn't the first time that people had assumed or been intimidated by his size and strength.

His stomach was doing flips as he looked about in the bathroom cabinets, finding one of the old slings that they kept around for when their workouts got a bit too intense. He'd spent more than a few days wearing one after dislocating his shoulder wrestling Stan years back. It should be able to fit her with some adjustment.

If she even wanted the help.

Shaking his head, he took in a long breath to gather himself.

 

_All you have to do is... uh_ _  
_ _All you have to do is stay_

_Won't admit what I already know_ __  
_I've never been the best at letting go_ __  
_I don't wanna spend the night alone_ _  
_ _Guess I need you, and I need to_

 

“Here, this should do the trick.”

She felt herself pulled out of her own thoughts as Johnny rejoined her in the living room. He was holding a small sling that had a velcro patch to keep the arm from moving. She remembered using one when Micky and Iggy had broken their arms after they decided to try and imitate the ninja warriors they watched from a cartoon. The memory both made her smirk and a burning sadness erupt from her heart.

Johnny looked over her and felt the blush return to his face again.

“Um...I kind of...need you to take your arm from the sleeve.”

“Oh, um, sure...I mean...yeah, you can.”

 

_Make it on my own, but I don't wanna grow up_ __  
_We can stay forever young_ __  
_Living on my sofa, drinking rum and cola_ __  
_Underneath the rising sun_ __  
_I could give a million reasons why_ _  
_ _But you're going, and you know that_

 

You would be able to swear that both their hearts were loud and clear as Johnny reached out and carefully pulled the sleeve from her arm, working hard to not move her shoulder much. The robe definitely seemed much bigger than it looked now, seeing her slender arm in his hands against the fluffy exterior. Knowing her attire under it was not making this any easier and his hands began to tremble a bit as he tried to set the sling around her shoulder. From where he had pulled the robe aside, he could see the soft curve of the top of her breast and did his best to keep his eyes away.

 

_All you have to do is... uh_ __  
_All you have to do is stay_ __  
  
_All you have to do is stay_ __  
_So stay_ _  
_ _Yeah_

 

Good god, he looked terrified.

Was she really inciting this reaction in someone so much younger than her?

Then again, her skin felt warm just having his eyes linger on her. But she was...old. Or at least felt that way. How was someone like her making such a good looking man flush so fiercely?

The tightness when he pulled at the velcro strap was strangely comforting, or maybe it was just his gentle manner. His trembling was also noticeable as he worked at a snail's pace.

 

_All you have to do is stay a minute_ __  
_Just take your time_ __  
_The clock is ticking, so stay_ __  
_All you have to do is wait a second_ __  
_Your hands on mine_ _  
_ _The clock is ticking, so stay_

 

“Um...s-sorry if I...made you scared before...”

“No...you don't scare me at all.”

He looked up to her, an expression of surprise painted over his face and realized exactly how close he was, having moved himself much closer to make sure he was putting the sling on properly.

It was on accident that he pulled back as hard as he did, probably looking ridiculous as he launched himself backwards over the side of the couch, much to the shock of Rosita.

“Are-are you okay!?” She crawled over the couch, looking down to him.

“Yes, totally okay!” He jumped to his feet, completely unharmed outside of his pride. “Ahhh, sorry, just...oh! D-Did you figure out where you wanted to sleep?”

 

_All you have to do is... uh_ __  
_All you have to do is stay_ __  
  
_All you have to do is stay_ __  
_So stay_ _  
_ _Yeah_

 

Totally smooth, FLAWLESS transition of the situation, Johnny. Go you.

He'd made a complete idiot of himself the first real night she'd been here. Why had he jumped back so much?

Ahh. It was her face. Not that he had been frightened by her or anything, but when he looked up and realized how close she was, her eyes was massive and deep, as though they were looking into him and seeing what he was thinking. And that was far more than frightening. It was...much more naked than he felt comfortable being with anyone.

And now the look she was giving him was one he couldn't quite read, but she seemed okay to let the change of conversation happen.

“I...think the guest room might be better. I'd feel strange sleeping in your father's or uncles' rooms.”

“Sure! Sure...Um, let me go get your things and get it set up then.”

 

The guest bedroom was much more simple than his own. Black and whites, the same modern style as the rest of the house, not too much within the sense of decoration.

“S-since they're both downstairs, you can a-always give a knock if you need anything. I'm usually a pretty light sleeper.”

“Thank you...for everything.” She replied softly, smoothing out the comforter on the bed. “I'll get my laundry done in the morning so you won't have to worry.”

“Sure! Oh, um...” He handed her the laptop. “I've left a note with the wifi password, so that y-you can do what you need to. Though, may be better to try and rest for a bit with how much has happened. Can you call your boss and let him know tomorrow?”

“I should be able to. I can also type one handed, though nowhere near as well.” She joked.

“Cheers, all right.” He looked shy and awkward, edging towards the door. “Um, well...I suppose I should let you settle in and get comfy. I-I'll be awake for a bit if you need anything.”

She nodded, smiling gently to try and comfort him. “Sleep well when you do. Good night.”

“Y-yeah, good night...”

The door closed and Rosita heaved a sigh, laying herself carefully on the new bed, breathing in the scent of fabric softener as well as a very slight bit of dust. No one had been in this bed, perhaps since he'd made it.

...the thought seemed very lonely. She wondered if she was the first person that he'd had over since moving in. No, that couldn't be. She was sure he was popular, probably had a few parties, lots of friends, women...

...maybe not with how he reacted to her earlier.

 

Moving back into his own room felt odd. It wasn't like he spent all that much time here as it was before, but seeing the way it was disheveled slightly, giving it that look that someone had lived in it for a bit outside of himself was almost alien.

“God, why am I such a prat? She must think I'm a grand ol' fool.” He pulled aside his clothing, stripping down to his boxers before throwing himself on the bed.

Ahh...

Turning on his side, he brought his face into the pillow and inhaled, letting himself take in the scent that had caught his attention.

How strange. She must have been wearing perfume that night that she'd gone out. There'd been so much going on when they were in the club, he'd not noticed it at all. It didn't quite smell like perfume though. More like...a sweet smell? Like sunscreen almost, the same kind of natural scent. But there wasn't any kind of residue, so...her natural sweat?

Johnny let his eyes close for a minute, pulling in the pillow closer and feeling himself begin to get lost in it, a warmth stirring in his stomach...

All at once, he sat up, his heart pounding hard and wide eyed.

“Fucking hell, that's not creepy at all, man!” He said to himself, looking at the pillow. She was his friend and guest, he was supposed to be taking care of her, not burying his face in her sweat from the night before! What kind of person was he?

“ _Wear protection if ya do get close. Older women can drive a little boy like you crazy.”_

Mike's advice came back to his mind, prompting another deep blush to his face. He let his body fall back onto the bed, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth. The warmth in his stomach had not abandoned him and much to his chagrin and shame, he grabbed the pillow and brought it to his face again, breathing in the scent deeply. ...did all women smell this nice or was it just her? He'd never really been close enough to tell.

“Mate, you're sick...” He whispered to himself in the dark, swallowing hard and squeezing the pillow to his body, not allowing himself the selfish satisfaction of relieving the growing tension he felt, but not quite willing to tear himself away from the smell either, eventually drifting off to sleep with his arms wrapped around it tight, as though he would never let it go.

 

Song used: “Stay” by Zedd ft. Alessia Cara

 


End file.
